Have you ever been around a
conceited girl whose favorite subject is HERSELF? It doesn't take very long before you want to take off and run away
from her. No matter how pretty she may be, if she knows it and flaunts it, it
is just not very appealing. But on the flip side have you ever met a beautiful
girl and she was so negative, insecure and down on herself that you felt all the
life being sucked out of you when she came around?
I believe that God wants us
to be confident, secure, happy women.
We should not be a
self-centered snob neither should we be a “Debbie- Downer”. There should be a
balance.
Conceited means- vain,
narcissistic, self-centered, arrogant, proud.
Confident means-
self-assured, positive, assertive, poised.
As, a Christian, we should
have confidence. We should be self- assured, positive, assertive and yes
poised; but not in a vain, self-centered, arrogant, proud way but in a humble
way. It almost sounds like an oxymoron doesn’t it. I’m telling you to be
confident but be humble. So let me explain why
we should be confident in
a humble way.
Be confident because we
belong to God.
Be humble because He paid the
price.
Be confident because we are
an heir to the throne
Be humble because He is the
King of Kings
Be confident because through
Him we have forgiveness of sins
Be humble because He made the
ultimate sacrifice.
He alone is the reason we can
have confidence.
There is nothing worthy about
us.
There is no reason for us to
feel we have the right to be conceited, vain, arrogant or proud.
The Bible has a lot to say
about a proud and haughty spirit. So, before you go around thinking you are
“Somebody Special” and strutting around like a “Proud Peacock” maybe you should
apply some of these verses to your life.
Proverbs 11:2
“When pride cometh then cometh shame:
but with the lowly is wisdom.”
Proverbs 16:5
Every one that is proud in heart is an
abomination to the Lord: though have join in hand, he shall not be unpunished.
Proverbs 16:18-19
“Pride goeth before destruction, and an
haughty spirit before a fall. Better it is to be of an humble spirit with the
lowly, than to divide the spoil with the proud.”
Proverbs 29:23
“A man’s pride shall bring him low: but
honour shall uphold the humble in spirit.”
Galatians 6:3
“For if a man think himself to be
something, when he is nothing, he deceiveth himself.
When you think of a proud
arrogant person, what are some of the bad characteristics you think of?
I asked myself this question and made a list
of what came to mind when I thought of a prideful person. Then I examined my
own life and quickly saw that I had many of these negative qualities in me. It
was not easy to see such ugliness in myself but I had to be honest and ask God
for His forgiveness if I wanted to have a pure and humble heart.
This would be a wonderful
exercise for you to do as well. Make a list or find verses, examine your life
and see if there is any pride in your heart that you can ask God to remove.
This is the list that I came
up with when I thought of a prideful person and how God worked on my heart in
the process.
1. Someone who brags a lot.
Proverbs 26:12
“Let another man praise thee, and not thine own mouth,
a stranger and not thine own lips.”
To me a proud person is someone who constantly brags on themselves. Someone who is tooting their own horn. Someone who can never compliment another person because they are too busy talking about their own self. But God
says don’t brag on yourselves at all. It’s not our job to toot our horn or to
sing our own praises. God doesn’t want us to lift ourselves up, He wants us to
lift others up.
When I examined my heart, I
quickly realized that I was guilty of bragging. There are times when I have
lifted myself up to look good in front of others. There have been many times
when I wanted people to know the good deeds I had done or the wonderful way I
handled a situation. But the book of Matthew shows me what God thinks of my
bragging.
Matthew 6:1-4
“Take heed that ye do not your alms before
men, to be seen of them: otherwise ye have no reward of your Father which is in
heaven.
Therefore when thou doest thine alms, do
not sound a trumpet before thee, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in
the streets, that they may have glory of men. Verily I say unto you, They have
their reward.
But when thou doest alms, let not thy left
hand know what thy right hand doeth:
That thine alms may be in secret: and thy
Father which seeth in secret himself shall reward thee openly.”
God wants to reward me for
doing good deeds and He wants to bless me when I help others. But when I brag
on the wonderful things I think I have
done and how I have helped others then the praise of man and the smiles of
others becomes my blessing. Seems
foolish doesn’t it. Sounds like I’m cheating myself out of a true reward! I
don’t know about you, but I sure don’t want to settle for a temporary moment of
praise, when I can have a reward from God that will last a lifetime.
So let’s remember, that yes,
a prideful person is one who brags on themselves a lot, but we are just as
guilty when we feel the need to brag on ourselves, even if it’s just a little.
2. Someone who looks down on others and makes fun of
others.
Philippians 2:3
“Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but
in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.”
Have ever been with a group
of friends when the subject turned onto a poor innocent victim that wasn’t
there to defend themselves and before you knew it, the gossip was way out of
hand.
Have you ever been around
someone that constantly feels the need to make fun of other people? Like,as long as you are laughing and joking about it somehow makes it okay right? Tearing them down but all in the name of fun.
It’s in times like these that you have an
opportunity to let your light shine. So do you:
A. Join in the fun, say
things you regret later, knowing that you don’t really mean what you are saying
but, you really want to fit in and be accepted. How can you let your light
shine if you are not accepted right?
B. Yell at all your friends
and put them in their place for being rude and stuck-up snobs, then quickly
remind them that Jesus would never act like that ( WWJD for goodness sake! )
and dramatically march off thankful you are not a sinner like them.
C. Is there a C?
While taking a few classes
for my Master’s of Education, I had the privilege of sitting under JoJo
Moffitt. To some of you that name may not be familiar, but too many of you
that name brings a smile, maybe even a laugh. This sweet amazing Christian lady
has the remarkable gift of living life like no other. She has an incredible way
of laughing through the trials of life and loving during heartbreaks and
disappointments. She has written several books and she speaks at Ladies
Conferences around the country. She brings laughter, smiles and wisdom to
everyone she is around. Her happy nature in infectious and she has a way of
making you feel better about yourself when you walk away.
I had the privilege of
sitting under her for two semesters and learned many things in her class. I
still remember like it was yesterday when she shared with us just how she
handled a situation similar to this…. and without her knowing it, she gave us an
option C
So ladies, here is our C
C. When others are talking
negatively about someone, remember you have a chance to let your light shine.
You don’t have to speak negative words to fit in and you don’t have to yell at
anyone. Instead, kindly and honestly, bring up all the wonderful positive
things you can about that person. If the mood doesn’t change and you can tell
your positive perspective will not change the negative atmosphere then try to
change the subject. If that still doesn’t work you may need to politely excuse
yourself from the group.
For some this many seem
foolish or a little over the top. But for those of us who are trying to honor
God with a humble heart, this is gold.
To live a life where we
esteem others above ourselves is living a life that pleases God. We can not
tear others down while lifting God up, it just doesn’t work like that.
Matthew 12:36
“But I say unto you, that every idle word
that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment”
James 3:10
“Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing
and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be.
The Bible has
much to say about our words, and if this is an area you struggle with (we are
all human, so I would say we all struggle in this area) then find some verses, memorize them and ask God to help you learn to esteem others.
3. Someone who makes me feel bad about myself.
Ephesians 4:29
“Let not corrupt communication proceed out of your
mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister
grace unto the hearers.”
It’s a rotten feeling when
you are talking to someone and they make you feel inferior and insecure. I
don’t like to be around someone who makes me feel bad about myself; like,
somehow I just don’t measure up to them. In fact, I stay away from people like
that. I just don’t have time for negativity like that. But evaluating my heart
and examining my life, I know I have been guilty of the very crime that I
loathe. And because we are all human, I know that at sometime in your life you
must have offended someone as well.
We all have room to grow and
areas to work on. This might be my biggest goal in life, to edify others and
make them feel better about themselves. I desire for others to feel valuable
and to know their worth. I want to encourage others and minister grace unto
them. But if I am too busy building myself up, I can’t build others up.
God tells us to use our
communication to edify others. So, let’s all try it today. Let’s build someone
up, encourage and minister good to them.
Imagine someone saying, “Wow,
she makes me feel so good about myself!” Now that’s a goal.
4. Someone is self-centered.
Philippians 2:3-4
“Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but
in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not
every man on his own things, but
every man also on the things of others.”
I naturally think of an arrogant,
prideful, conceited person as one who is self-centered. Someone who is always
putting their own self first and making the world revolve around them. But
God’s way of thinking is so different than mine. He tells me not to look to my
needs but to others. He tells me to esteem others up over myself. He tells me
to put others first and when I don’t, I’m self-centered. I may not go around
talking about “me, myself and I”; but when I put myself first, that’s what I am
doing.
When I look honestly into the
mirror, I have to admit, that I am a very self-centered person, and I don’t
like what I see. It’s ugly and far from Christ-like but being honest, I like to
have my way, and I like getting what I want and I wouldn’t mind if the world
revolved around me.
I’m not going to lie; this
point is a hard for me. I wish I could push a magic button and magically change
overnight. But I don’t have that button, and I don’t have the ability to change
myself. Oh, I might improve for a day or two, but I somehow manage going back
to my old selfish way. However, I am not hopeless. I have a powerful, loving
Father who wants me to come to Him. He knows I am a sinner and He wants me to
realize that as well. He is forgiving and ready to help me in my weakness.
2 Corinthians 12:9 “…..My grace is sufficient for thee: for my
strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory
in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”
Praise God, I don’t have to
be perfect! I just rest on the One who can perfect my weakness.
I’m not sure where your weaknesses
lie, whether it is having too much pride in your heart or not having any
confidence. I believe that both are a
sin.
God wants us to be balanced
in this area. He wants us to be humble and confident. It’s not easy, but with
Him it’s not impossible.
Deuteronomy 31:6 “Be strong and of good courage, fear not,
nor be afraid of them: for the Lord thy God, he it is that doth go with thee;
he will not fail thee, not forsake thee.”
I recently saw a billboard for a plastic surgeon and written in big bold letters was "Confidence brings power" I couldn't help but feel sad that so many people will and surely have fallen for this false advertisement. The lie that " If I can just be pretty enough, skinny enough, loved enough, popular enough, if I could only have more IG followers and likes, then I too can have confidence and I can have the power to do anything". Ladies, confidence does not come through being beautiful, skinny, popular or even rich. The Hollywood's most elite have proven that time and time again. Confidence comes through having a secure relationship with the One who gives confidence.
We can have confidence in Jesus
Christ and through Him, we can let our lives sparkle and shine for Him. Confidence is a beautiful thing and can be used for the Glory of God. There is something so rare and so valuable about a lady who humbly holds her head up with confidence, lovingly serving others and using her life to lift others up. Let's build each other up, compliment one another and brag on others. You never know how your uplifting words may encourage that person. Imagine a church, a community a world where women lifted each other up instead of tore each other down. This is the type of lady I desire to be. My prayer is that perhaps you will also desire to be a confident lady shining brightly to inspire and help others.
