The Power of the Tongue

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue…”  Proverbs 18:21

In this social media driven generation, people have been given the misconception that they have the right to speak their mind. There is a false idea that they can be brutally honest and say whatever they want and have no sorrow, remorse or consequences for their behavior. Slander, bullying and hating on others is now socially acceptable. In fact, the idea of holding your thoughts and words back would now mean that you are not being “true to yourself”. As long as it is what you believe to be true and how you feel, then it is A-Okay.

 Is it any wonder that depression, therapy and suicide are at on all time high? It is a coincidence that the pressure of drugs, alcohol and immortality is affecting even young children?

Ladies, in order for our lights to sparkle and shine for the Lord we must use our words for the glory of God. We must choose to be an encourager and not a discourager. To be effective for the Kingdom, we have to decide to build others up and not tear them down. Our words should draw people to us and ultimately point them to Christ.

The Bible has so much to say about our words, our mouth and our speech. In fact a great portion of Proverbs is dedicated to comparing a wise man to a foolish man. And many of these verses deal with their mouth and how they handle a situation. Let’s look at the two and see what type of words they choose.

A Wise Man:

1. Wise Words

One of biggest differences between a wise man and a foolish man is the way he handles his mouth, his speech and his tongue.

“The mouth of the righteous speaketh wisdom and his tongue talketh of judgment. Psalms 37:30

“The mouth of the just bringeth forth wisdom…” Proverbs 10: 31a

2. Edifying and Encouraging Words

A wise man will use every opportunity he has to edify and encourage others. He uses his mouth to build others up; not tear them down.

“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers”

Ephesians 4:29

3. Gracious Words

A wise man’s mouth will be filled with gracious, kind words; not harsh, cruel words.

“The words of a wise man’s mouth are gracious….” Ecclesiastes 10:12

4. Thoughtful and Thought-out Words

A wise man will think before he speaks. He uses well thought out words and does not use word vomit!

“Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.” Colossians 4:6

“Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:” James 1:19

“The heart of the righteous studieth to answer…” Proverbs 15:28

5. Soft Words.

A wise man does not yell, scream or raise his voice,. he does not have to be gruff, crude or hurtful to get his point across. Instead he knows how to softly use his words and gently, lovingly, firmly and wisely handles even the toughest conversations and situations. 

“A soft answer turneth away wrath…” Proverbs 15:1

6. Wholesome Words

Wholesome means good, moral, clean, virtuous, pure, innocent, proper, decent, harmless and squeaky clean. Does this describe what flows out of your mouth? A wise man decides to use wholesome words and there is no room for gossip, lies, cursing, back-biting or drama.

“A wholesome tongue is a tree of life” Proverbs 15:4

7. Acceptable Word

A wise man knows that his words need to be

acceptable and pleasing to God. He also knows that he must use his words wisely so they can be acceptable and helpful to others.

“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable unto you, O Lord” Psalms 19:14

“And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus…” Colossians 3:17

“The lips of the righteous know what is acceptable…”  Proverbs 10:32a

8. Spirit-filled Words

A wise man knows that there will be times the words that come from his mouth can not be his own words, but must be Spirit-filled and led by God in order to touch the lives of others

“Then the Lord put forth his hand, and touched my mouth. And the Lord said unto me, Behold, I have put my words in thy mouth.” Jeremiah 1:9

9. Guarded Words

A wise man will allow God to direct and guard his mouth.

“Set a watch, O Lord, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips.” Psalms 141:3

9. Healing Words

Our words should be like a healing balm to those around us; adding comfort, cheer and reassurance.

“Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul and health to the bones” Proverbs 16:24

10. Hushed Words

A wise man knows when to keep his mouth shut. Sometimes the best thing we can do is not say anything at all. It’s not always the easiest but sometimes it is the best.

“In the multitude of word there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips is wise.”  Proverbs 10:19

“Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles.” 

Proverbs 21:23

“He that hath knowledge spareth his words: and a man of understanding is of an excellent spirit.

Even a fool when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.” Proverbs 17:27-28

If you want to see where you are spiritually, then put James 1:26 to the test. “If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man’s religion is vain. A wise man knows that sometimes it’s just best to say nothing at all.

Foolish Man:

1. Foolish Words

A foolish man’s mouth is just the opposite of a wise man’s. His speech is full of thoughtless, rash, reckless, ill-considered, impolite, unintelligent words. He is lacks good sense, judgment and wisdom so obviously, his speech will be filled with foolishness.

“…but the lips of a fool will swallow up himself. The beginning of the words of his mouth is foolishness: and the end of his talk is mischievous madness.”  

Ecclesiastes 10:13b-14

“…but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness” Proverbs 15:2b

2. Hasty Words

A foolish man will quickly give you a piece of his mind at the drop of a hat. He never thinks or prays about

what he should say or how he should handle a situation. He is like a walking volcano waiting to spew out hot lava.

“Seest thou a man that is hasty in his word? There is more hope of a fool than of him.” Proverbs 29:20

“A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.” 

Proverbs 29:11

3. Angry Words

Angry words tend to add more fuel to the flame. Just like a fire, they have a tendency to get out of control very quickly. Angry words always make things worse and never defuse a situation. A foolish man does not know how to handle his anger, temper or his words.

“A wrathful man stirreth up strife…”Proverbs 15:18a

“…but grievous words stir up anger.”Proverbs 15:1b

“…but violence covereth the mouth of the wicked.” Proverbs 10: 11b

4. Evil Words

   The definition of evil is wicked, bad, wrong, foul, sinful, dishonorable, corrupt, and vicious. When you are spreading gossip, lies, drama, or half-truths you are choosing to use evil words. A wicked man has no regard as to how his evil words may destroy or hurt the lives of others. Ask yourself if you are choosing righteousness or wickedness when you are talking to your girlfriends. Don’t allow evil words to sneak into your conversations.

“…but the mouth of the wicked poureth out evil things.” Proverbs 15:28b

5. Dishonest Words.

You can not believe or put much value in what a fool has to say. Proverbs mentions a forward heart and a forward mouth several times. Frowardness in modern terms means to be willfully contrary to someone, to be crooked, twisted, distorted, back-sliden or basically someone you can not put your faith and trust in. Doesn’t this seem to define a dishonest man perfectly?

“Put away from thee a forward mouth, and perverse lips put far from thee.” Proverbs 4:24  

“…but the mouth of the wicked speaketh forwardness.” Proverbs 10:32b

“…and he that uttereth a slander, is a fool” Proverbs 10:18b

5. Meaningless Words.

I saved this point for last because we all fall guilty of this. We have all used words that have no purpose, meaning or use. We just talk to talk or talk to be heard. That could be why most women have been known to have “the gift to gab”. We, as women to do not need help talking. We naturally enjoy talking and fellow-shipping. There is nothing wrong, foolish or sinful about this. But it is in that time of fellowship that we must remember to guard our mouth and have wisdom. It is so easy to get caught up in conversations that become meaningless and can easily lead to gossip. Gossip never leads to edification but only leads to destruction. You may try to justify your gossip as just catching up or sharing a prayer request amongst your closets friends. You may not see the harm in meaningless words, and neither did I, until I came across this verse; and it shook me to the core. 

“But I say unto you, that every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment. For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.” Matthew 12:36-37

Ladies, our meaningless, idle words will one day be judged by the Ultimate Judge. There is destiny in words. Read, study, or memorize Matthew 12:33-37. Let’s beg God to help us with our words. Let’s not be a foolish man that has no control, care or thought about the things that spew out of his mouth. Let’s be wise, kind and thoughtful with the words that carefully proceed from our lips. 

As Christian ladies, we must let our light shine into a dark world. We must show our neighbors, community, family and friends that there is something rare, special and unique about us. But our lights will not shine if we are using our mouth unwisely. Proverbs 31:26 says it beautifully, “She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness” What a challenge this verse is. The Proverbs 31 woman who is known as a woman more valuable than rubies gives us a guideline for our mouth.

“Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be.” James 3:10  

Are your words a blessing or a cursing?

Are your words helpful or hurtful?

Are your words wise or foolish?

Are your words healing or destructive?

Are your words encouraging or discouraging?

Are your words life or death?

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue…”  Proverbs 18:21

There is power in our words.

There is destiny in our words.

There are consequences to our words that can be good or bad.

The choice is ours to make.

Will we be foolish or will we be wise with our words.

While the rest of the world is bashing, slandering, giving a piece of their mind; we as Christian ladies, can be a light, we can radiate, we can encourage and we can uplift others for the Kingdom of God. We can use our words wisely and sparkle and shine  to bring glory to God.

The Best Kept Beauty Secret

It is no secret that woman desire to look their best. We want flawless skin, and a glowing complexion. We want to feel young and keep the wrinkles away. Some women are willing to pay any amount of money for the latest product that promises youth and glowing skin. Unfortunately, there is no product, surgery or pill that can keep the wrinkles away. It is a natural process of life. We might be able to hid the grey hair and cover up the bags under our eyes but we can not stop the aging process.

But don’t be disheartened, there is a beauty secret that has stood the test of time. It’s a beauty secret that guarantees a natural glow. It's a glow so amazing, that it will draw people to you. It does not matter what your age is or how many wrinkles you may have or how deep the bags are under your eyes. This will process will promise success.  It’s the best kept beauty secret, and I am going to share it with you today!! Are you ready? You may want to get some paper and pen because this will change your entire beauty routine. There is only one way to get that natural, beautiful, sought-after glow.

A WALK WITH GOD

There are no substitutions for this process. There are not short cuts. You can not buy it. You can not borrow it from someone else. It is very plain and very simple. You must walk with God.

You may ask how does a walk with God and a relationship with Him give you beauty and a glowing continence?

Let’s look in Exodus 34; Moses has been spending time with God on Mt. Sinai writing the 10 commandments.  When he comes down from the mountain the children of Israel noticed that Moses’ face is shining.

 Exodus 34:35 “And the children of Israel saw the face of Moses, that the skin of Moses’ face shone…

His face was shining because he had been in the presence of God Almighty. He had been with the Light and that Light showed on his countenance.

Ladies, we can not make a light shine that does not exist. If we do not spend time with God, then we will not have His Light. We can put the most expensive make-up on our faces, and use the best night cream there is on the market; but that will never take the place of a relationship with Him. And it will not give you the glow you desire. You can not fake it. You either have the light or you do not. This glow comes only through a relationship spent with Jesus.

The words below are from a popular praise and worship song, Shine Jesus Shine

Lord, the Light of Your Love is shining,
In the midst of the darkness shining,
Jesus, Light of the World, shining upon us,
Set us free by the truth You now bring us,
Shine on me. Shine on me.

Shine, Jesus shine,
Fill this land with the Father's glory.
Blaze, Spirit blaze,
Set our hearts on fire.
Flow, river flow,
Flood the nations with grace and mercy.
Send forth Your word,
Lord and let there be light.

Lord, I come to Your awesome presence,
From the shadows into Your radiance.
By the blood I may enter Your brightness,
Search me, try me, consume all my darkness.
Shine on me. Shine on me.

As we gaze on Your kindly brightness.
So our faces display Your likeness.
Ever changing from glory to glory,
Mirrored here may our lives tell Your story.
Shine on me. Shine on me.

You can not wave a flame-less candle into a dark room and expect it shine light. Neither can you sparkle and shine in a dark world if you do not have the Light of God

So many times we women totally miss it. We get so busy focusing on all the outer details that we miss the main beauty step, our heart and our relationship with God.

I love fashion, I love make-up, and I obsess over jewelry, purses and shoes. I enjoy getting all dolled up and looking my best. But this can not be my focal point. If  I am depending on clothes, accessories, make-up and big hair to find my self-worth then I have missed the mark.

I Peter 3 3-4 “Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, eve the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God a great price.”

I Timothy 2:8-9 “In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; but with becometh women professing godliness…”

I am guilty of falling into that trap of misguided thinking “Oh, if I only had that outfit, I would be so happy and content. It will make me feel good about myself” or “Man if I could just get that purse, I will be accepted by my co-workers .” or “That color lipstick will make be feel pretty.”  Yes, we all want to feel pretty and beautiful. We want nice clothes, pretty hair and radiant skin. But maybe we should rely more on God for our beauty and less on materialism and make-up.

Psalms 90: 17a “Let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us...”

Just imagine a lady of God with the beauty of the Lord upon her. That is what I  long for. Sure being beautiful and being described as gorgeous would be quite nice, but outward beauty fades with time. Instead, imagine being described as godly or virtuous, that is a lasting beauty that will stand the test of time. And no amount of time will fade that away.  

Friend, we must change our way of thinking. The Bible encourages us to put the emphasis on our heart and being godly and not on our outer appearance. Does this mean that enjoying fashion and make-up is a sin? No, not at all!  But when we are consumed by it and it becomes our number one priority in life, then we have become distracted. Ladies, let’s not get side-tracked on outer beauty. Don’t let reality TV influence you into being consumed with your looks. We live in a day where the emphasis is on a woman’s beauty instead of her hear. It's easy to view beauty as the world sees it.  The world defines beauty as flawless skin,  being skinny, healthy,  sculpted and fit, wearing certain clothes, having  long wavy hair and have pearly white teeth. Beauty is defined by popularity and the number of followers you have on social media.  But God defines beauty a lot differently.  He looks at our hearts. 

I Samuel 16:7 “…for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart.”

Our heart has a way off telling on us.

What does your heart say?

Does your heart say...

You are vain

You have your priorities wrong

You have gotten distracted

You need a renewing

You need time with God

Your relationship with God is questionable

Or does your heart say and show…

You have walked with God

You have an unshakeable relationship with God

You have an undeniable, unexplainable glow about you

Your priorities are in order

You are renewed, refreshed and recharged

What does your heart say?

Remember the saying “your eyes are the window to your soul”? Well,

if you want that glow on your face and that sparkle in your eyes, then remember it not something you can put on.  That sparkle and shine comes from what you put in. It’s the time you spend with God. It’s the relationship that you have build with Him. It’s being in the presence of the Light and allowing His source of Light to flow into your soul. It’s His Light shining in your soul that illuminates to your eyes and brings a beautiful glow onto your face. There is no substitution for it. There is no short cut for it. There is no age limit on it. It is available for all. Money can’t buy it and the world can not claim it. It is the best kept beauty secret; it is available for you and for me. It is the only way we can truly sparkle and shine in a dark and dreary world. It's the Best Kept Beauty Secret. Yes,  I will continue to wear makeup,  poof my hair and enjoy cute clothes,  but I want to keep my main focus on my heart and not on my appearance.  

Watson Wedding Weekend

We had the privilege of going home  the week of our little sister's wedding. She is my husband's baby sister and I'm so blessed that we are super close. She is very stylish and has amazing taste so of course, she had beautiful wedding and she was the most beautiful bride. She picked an outside venue with a very rustic theme. It was out on a farm. She had so many incredible ideas. Man, do I wish Pinterest had been around when I got married.

The only damper was that there was a major storm in the forecast for the weekend. At the last minute she was able to rent a tent and that literally saved the wedding. I will get into that later. Due to weather the wedding rehearsal was very hot and muggy. And other than my spray tan melting off it didn't affect the happy atmosphere.The evening was great and the food was amazing.

                                                   The darling Bride-to-be and her Mother

                                                                     The Gates' Girls

                        My spray tan was pretty dark!!! I wish It could have been permanent...lol

                                                                My husband's family.

The kid's really enjoyed the location. It was on a horse farm, so there was plenty of room to run and explore. I think there favorite part were the horses!

                                                Oh can these two melt my heart any more!!

The wedding day morning all the bridesmaids met the bride at her Salon/Boutique. The perfect set- up! We could shop while we waited! We all got up do's and I asked the sweet southern lady to make mine big. Boy, she did not disappoint!!! I felt like I should have been auditioning for Steel Magnolias..haha!

           This girl was bless with the most beautiful healthy hair. It's all real, no extensions for her.

 So, as much as I liked the style,  because my hair is so short, I felt like it needed more volume in the back. So, I added a hair piece and loved the final result

Now, we are all ready, gussied up and ready for the Big Moment. The only obstacle is the weather. It started to rain, more like pour down right when the pictures were scheduled. So the pictures had to be rescheduled till after the wedding. Thankfully, there was a short break in the rain and the cute couple were able to take a few of theirs before the wedding.  While we were waiting on the rain to stop and the wedding to start we went back and forth from the bridal room to the pavilion were the reception would be. 

                                                    I loved this cute chalkboard backdrop.

Our dresses were pretty long and most of us were wearing sandals/flip-flops until the wedding, so in order to keep our dresses out of the mud, we tied them up. Good idea huh?

Just guess what I caught my Little Arlee Bug doing???...Yep, right in front of everyone. Peeing.......Oh, boy!

Once all the guest were seated under the tent and it was time for the wedding to start, the wedding party made the long walk from the pavilion to the tent. It was drizzling a little but we all made it safely to the tent and in our spots without a problem. The bride however DID NOT. She was driven up in a little golf car. My husband and his brother were the ones who walked her down the isle. They used umbrellas to shelter her from the now heavy sprinkles She had a rustic door set up that she would walk through. And bless her. the moment they opened the doors, it began to pour. The guys quickly escorted under the tent and the umbrellas were tossed to the ground.

The entire time we were under the tent it rained and it rained HARD. Many of the guest had to move from their seats to keep dry. And pour Anna, our cousin and one of the bridesmaids was under a hole that kept leaking water and dripping on her. She had to keep moving to find a safe spot...LOL The rain was so hard and hitting the tent so loud we could not hear anything. From the moment the wedding started until it ended, not one word could be heard.

Immediately after the ceremony the rain stopped and all the guest were able to go down to the reception and we quickly took all of our pictures. And in spite of the rain, it was a beautiful wedding.

                                                The brother's walking Jessica down the isle.

                                                    Introducing Mr. and Mrs. Watson

                                                               The Wedding Party

 We are so excited that Uncle Tanner is officially part of this our family. He is definitely a favorite with the kids, I think it's because he is a big kid.

We are so glad that the wedding was everything Jessica wanted. I was not a perfect wedding , it had a few bumps in it. But it was a special day with friends and family and I don't think a bride could ask for more.

We truly wish you two all the happiness in the world. Life is not always easy, but we pray  all your dreams come true and that you two will walk through the imperfections hand in hand with the Lord by your side. We love you both!

Confident Not Conceited

Have you ever been around a conceited girl whose favorite subject is HERSELF?  It doesn't take very long before you want to take off and run away from her. No matter how pretty she may be, if she knows it and flaunts it, it is just not very appealing. But on the flip side have you ever met a beautiful girl and she was so negative, insecure and down on herself that you felt all the life being sucked out of you when she came around?

I believe that God wants us to be confident, secure, happy women.

We should not be a self-centered snob neither should we be a “Debbie- Downer”. There should be a balance.

Conceited means- vain, narcissistic, self-centered, arrogant, proud.

Confident means- self-assured, positive, assertive, poised.

As, a Christian, we should have confidence. We should be self- assured, positive, assertive and yes poised; but not in a vain, self-centered, arrogant, proud way but in a humble way. It almost sounds like an oxymoron doesn’t it. I’m telling you to be confident but be humble. So let me explain why

we should be confident in a humble way.

Be confident because we belong to God.

Be humble because He paid the price.

Be confident because we are an heir to the throne

Be humble because He is the King of Kings

Be confident because through Him we have forgiveness of sins

Be humble because He made the ultimate sacrifice.

He alone is the reason we can have confidence.

There is nothing worthy about us.

There is no reason for us to feel we have the right to be conceited, vain, arrogant or proud.

The Bible has a lot to say about a proud and haughty spirit. So, before you go around thinking you are “Somebody Special” and strutting around like a “Proud Peacock” maybe you should apply some of these verses to your life.

Proverbs 11:2

“When pride cometh then cometh shame: but with the lowly is wisdom.”

Proverbs 16:5

Every one that is proud in heart is an abomination to the Lord: though have join in hand, he shall not be unpunished.

Proverbs 16:18-19

“Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall. Better it is to be of an humble spirit with the lowly, than to divide the spoil with the proud.”

Proverbs 29:23

“A man’s pride shall bring him low: but honour shall uphold the humble in spirit.”

Galatians 6:3

“For if a man think himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceiveth himself.

When you think of a proud arrogant person, what are some of the bad characteristics you think of?

 I asked myself this question and made a list of what came to mind when I thought of a prideful person. Then I examined my own life and quickly saw that I had many of these negative qualities in me. It was not easy to see such ugliness in myself but I had to be honest and ask God for His forgiveness if I wanted to have a pure and humble heart.

This would be a wonderful exercise for you to do as well. Make a list or find verses, examine your life and see if there is any pride in your heart that you can ask God to remove.

This is the list that I came up with when I thought of a prideful person and how God worked on my heart in the process.

1. Someone who brags a lot.

Proverbs 26:12

“Let another man praise thee, and not thine own mouth, a stranger and not thine own lips.”

 To me a proud person is someone who constantly brags on themselves. Someone who is tooting their own horn. Someone who can never compliment another person because they are too busy talking about their own self. But God says don’t brag on yourselves at all. It’s not our job to toot our horn or to sing our own praises. God doesn’t want us to lift ourselves up, He wants us to lift others up.

When I examined my heart, I quickly realized that I was guilty of bragging. There are times when I have lifted myself up to look good in front of others. There have been many times when I wanted people to know the good deeds I had done or the wonderful way I handled a situation. But the book of Matthew shows me what God thinks of my bragging.

Matthew 6:1-4

“Take heed that ye do not your alms before men, to be seen of them: otherwise ye have no reward of your Father which is in heaven.

Therefore when thou doest thine alms, do not sound a trumpet before thee, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

 But when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth:

That thine alms may be in secret: and thy Father which seeth in secret himself shall reward thee openly.”

God wants to reward me for doing good deeds and He wants to bless me when I help others. But when I brag on the wonderful things I think  I have done and how I have helped others then the praise of man and the smiles of others becomes my blessing.  Seems foolish doesn’t it. Sounds like I’m cheating myself out of a true reward! I don’t know about you, but I sure don’t want to settle for a temporary moment of praise, when I can have a reward from God that will last a lifetime.

So let’s remember, that yes, a prideful person is one who brags on themselves a lot, but we are just as guilty when we feel the need to brag on ourselves, even if it’s just a little.

2. Someone who looks down on others and makes fun of others.

Philippians 2:3

“Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.”

Have ever been with a group of friends when the subject turned onto a poor innocent victim that wasn’t there to defend themselves and before you knew it, the gossip was way out of hand.

Have you ever been around someone that constantly feels the need to make fun of other people? Like,as long as you are  laughing and joking about it somehow makes it okay  right? Tearing them down but all in the name of fun.

 It’s in times like these that you have an opportunity to let your light shine. So do you:

A. Join in the fun, say things you regret later, knowing that you don’t really mean what you are saying but, you really want to fit in and be accepted. How can you let your light shine if you are not accepted right?

B. Yell at all your friends and put them in their place for being rude and stuck-up snobs, then quickly remind them that Jesus would never act like that ( WWJD for goodness sake! ) and dramatically march off thankful you are not a sinner like them.

C. Is there a C?

While taking a few classes for my Master’s of Education, I had the privilege of sitting under JoJo Moffitt. To some of you that name may not be familiar, but too many of you that name brings a smile, maybe even a laugh. This sweet amazing Christian lady has the remarkable gift of living life like no other. She has an incredible way of laughing through the trials of life and loving during heartbreaks and disappointments. She has written several books and she speaks at Ladies Conferences around the country. She brings laughter, smiles and wisdom to everyone she is around. Her happy nature in infectious and she has a way of making you feel better about yourself when you walk away. 

I had the privilege of sitting under her for two semesters and learned many things in her class. I still remember like it was yesterday when she shared with us just how she handled a situation similar to this…. and without her knowing it, she gave us an option C

So ladies, here is our C

C. When others are talking negatively about someone, remember you have a chance to let your light shine. You don’t have to speak negative words to fit in and you don’t have to yell at anyone. Instead, kindly and honestly, bring up all the wonderful positive things you can about that person. If the mood doesn’t change and you can tell your positive perspective will not change the negative atmosphere then try to change the subject. If that still doesn’t work you may need to politely excuse yourself from the group.

For some this many seem foolish or a little over the top. But for those of us who are trying to honor God with a humble heart, this is gold.

To live a life where we esteem others above ourselves is living a life that pleases God. We can not tear others down while lifting God up, it just doesn’t work like that.

Matthew 12:36

^“But I say unto you, that every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment”

James 3:10

^“Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be.

The Bible has much to say about our words, and if this is an area you struggle with (we are all human, so I would say we all struggle in this area) then find some verses, memorize them and ask God to help you learn to esteem others.

3. Someone who makes me feel bad about myself.

Ephesians 4:29

“Let not corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.”

It’s a rotten feeling when you are talking to someone and they make you feel inferior and insecure. I don’t like to be around someone who makes me feel bad about myself; like, somehow I just don’t measure up to them. In fact, I stay away from people like that. I just don’t have time for negativity like that. But evaluating my heart and examining my life, I know I have been guilty of the very crime that I loathe. And because we are all human, I know that at sometime in your life you must have offended someone as well.

We all have room to grow and areas to work on. This might be my biggest goal in life, to edify others and make them feel better about themselves. I desire for others to feel valuable and to know their worth. I want to encourage others and minister grace unto them. But if I am too busy building myself up, I can’t build others up.

God tells us to use our communication to edify others. So, let’s all try it today. Let’s build someone up, encourage and minister good to them.

Imagine someone saying, “Wow, she makes me feel so good about myself!” Now that’s a goal.

4. Someone is self-centered.

Philippians 2:3-4

“Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.”

I naturally think of an arrogant, prideful, conceited person as one who is self-centered. Someone who is always putting their own self first and making the world revolve around them. But God’s way of thinking is so different than mine. He tells me not to look to my needs but to others. He tells me to esteem others up over myself. He tells me to put others first and when I don’t, I’m self-centered. I may not go around talking about “me, myself and I”; but when I put myself first, that’s what I am doing.

When I look honestly into the mirror, I have to admit, that I am a very self-centered person, and I don’t like what I see. It’s ugly and far from Christ-like but being honest, I like to have my way, and I like getting what I want and I wouldn’t mind if the world revolved around me.

I’m not going to lie; this point is a hard for me. I wish I could push a magic button and magically change overnight. But I don’t have that button, and I don’t have the ability to change myself. Oh, I might improve for a day or two, but I somehow manage going back to my old selfish way. However, I am not hopeless. I have a powerful, loving Father who wants me to come to Him. He knows I am a sinner and He wants me to realize that as well. He is forgiving and ready to help me in my weakness.

2 Corinthians 12:9 “…..My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

Praise God, I don’t have to be perfect! I just rest on the One who can perfect my weakness.

I’m not sure where your weaknesses lie, whether it is having too much pride in your heart or not having any confidence.  I believe that both are a sin.

God wants us to be balanced in this area. He wants us to be humble and confident. It’s not easy, but with Him it’s not impossible.

Deuteronomy 31:6 “Be strong and of good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the Lord thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, not forsake thee.”

 I recently saw a billboard for a plastic surgeon and written in big bold letters was  "Confidence brings power"  I couldn't help but feel sad that so many people will and surely have fallen for this false advertisement. The lie that " If I can just be pretty enough, skinny enough, loved enough, popular enough, if I could only have more IG followers and likes, then I too can have confidence and I can have the power to do anything". Ladies, confidence does not come through being beautiful, skinny, popular or even rich. The Hollywood's most elite have proven that time and time again. Confidence comes through having a secure relationship with the One who gives confidence. 

We can have confidence in Jesus Christ and through Him, we can let our lives sparkle and shine for Him. Confidence is a beautiful thing and can be used for the Glory of God. There is something so rare and so valuable about a lady who humbly holds her head up with confidence, lovingly serving others and using her life to lift others up.  Let's build each other up, compliment one another and brag on others. You never know how your uplifting words may encourage that person. Imagine a church, a community a world where women lifted each other up instead of tore each other down. This is the type of lady I desire to be. My prayer is that perhaps you will also desire to be a confident lady shining brightly to inspire and help others. 

A Heart Transplant

So, honestly guys, I have been MIA from writing lately because , plain and simple,  I have had "no words".  I have had nothing to share and nothing to give. I have been empty. Kind of like a water fountain that was out of water and all dried up.

Have you ever been there?

For the last few months I felt like  I needed a break. I felt a desperate need for a recharge, refocus and  a renewed spirit. In short, I needed a big change. I guess the best way to describe it would be to say, I needed a heart transplant.

Knowing I needed a change of heart, I took a big step back and did some evaluating.  What I noticed, was not pretty; it was down right ugly. While I was trying to put this journey  into words, this little poem came into my head.  To my amazement, when I began typing, the words just started flowing.( I knew this had to be from God) Now, I am by no means a poet, so please, forgive my feeble attempt!


A Heart Transplant
When I took a good look at me
I saw things I did not want to see.
I noticed I was becoming someone I did not want to be.
I was often way too snappy
and seldom joyful or happy.
I felt way too stressed and moody
but wanted to be chill and groovy.
I did not want to feel angry or mad
I wanted to feel peaceful and glad.
I wanted to laugh and feel care-free
But even that seemed so hard for me.
And no matter how hard I tried to be more
A self-made change was just not in store.

Not knowing what else to do,
I turned my eyes to You.
I put my pitiful heart in your steady hands
And trusted that You had better plans.
For You are truly  the only One
that could get this heart transplant done.

With tears in my eyes,
I looked from the skies.
I would no longer believe the devil's lies.
For today was the day,  I would get a fresh start
I could feel the peace and joy comfort me, as they nestled snug in my heart.
Praise God! He heard my heart's cry
and in His strength and mercy, I can rely.

Never alone,
are we left to roam.
He is with us all of the way
Every step of every day.

~Dorothy Gates~

Yes, I needed a heart transplant and I needed it bad.
I was in a dark funk. I was stressed, frustrated, moody, grumpy, troubled and often down-right angery.
And the worst part of it was that  I didn't even know why!!!!!

I knew I needed to change. Oh,  I had mastered the "Fake it till you make it" approach and I knew how to place that smile on and appear all was right with the world.  But deep down I was not okay,  I was miserable and causing those around me to be miserable.

Now let me clarify that while I was going through this confusing and frustrating time, I NEVER doubted my salvation, my relationship with God or His goodness. I knew I was simply going through a funk or a"FOG", if you will. It was a thick fog and it was doing it's best to rob me of my joy. However,  I knew there was a Light at  the end of the tunnel. I trusted that Light and ran for it. In my darkness and in my state of Fog that  Light seemed to shine brighter and stronger and I clung to it hoping for a brighter day. But in order for a change I had to be honest with myself. I also had to remember that I was not alone or forsaken. God was right there with me in that Fog. He was shining His Light and waiting patiently for me to run to Him.

I would like to share some of the steps I took during this time. I know everyone's journey is different but this is what helped me and if it can help you then I know my time in the "Fog" was not in vain.

1. I clung to God.
I continued to read my Bible, pray, attend church and cling to God. There were days I did not want to or feel like it, but I did. I knew I needed God and I knew I had to be faithful to Him. I heard a preacher say that the harder the Devil would attack him, the more time He would spend with God. I knew during this time, I needed more of God, not less. The best thing I found for me was to continue my normal daily routines even when I did not want to.  I also tried to take a step back from things that were being a distraction (for me it was TV and social media) and focus on all the good positive things in my life. I listened to devotions by amazing ladies of God, I read powerful books from Godly ladies and listened to good gospel music.

2. I clung to His promises
I held to the precious promises of the Bible. I wrote several verses down and would refer to them several times throughout the day. Here is a great verse that offered so much comfort during this time

II Corinthians 4: 8-9 "We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed."

Psalms is loaded with wonderful promises of God and is a great book to read during hard times.

3. I had to be honest and get to the root of the problem
I am normally a very positive, happy, sincere person. I enjoy life and want to live it to the fullest. My deepest desire is to live an amazing life for God. So, when I noticed I was being grumpy, moody, unkind, negative and sometimes just down-right angry, I knew I needed to get to the root of the problem. At first, I tried to hide it, cover it up and pretend that nothing was wrong. Oh, it worked for a few hours, maybe a few days but then the suffocating, joy-robbing funk seemed to come back. It was when I decided to be honest, dig deep and go to God for help that healing began to occur. I also learned it was okay to NOT be okay.  Healing did not happen immediately or over night. It was a process and not always an easy one. But, praise God I can say it happened.

4. I memorized verses that applied to my need.
I knew that I needed a heart renewal so I searched the Bible for verses that applied to that topic and began to memorize them. I quickly noticed that my brain does not retain information like it did when I was younger so I put those verses on sticky notes and hung them on my mirror. I also wrote some of them down in my prayer journal and anywhere I knew I would look through out the day. I knew I needed to be reminded several times a days and for me repetition is the key to learning. The Bible says  "If ye abide in me and my Words abide in you, ye shall ask what you will and it shall be done unto you" John 15:7.

Here are a few of the verses that truly made a difference during my "Fog" and I will explain how God led me to these verses how He applied them to my life.

Psalm 51:10  ".....renew a right spirit within me." 
This was my go-to verse, it was the very first verse that came to my mind and the one I quoted over and over and over.  I knew I didn't have the right spirit and I needed the right one. So, I wondered what is the right spirit? Quickly the next verse came to mind..


Galatians 5: 22-23 " But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance..."
I knew I desperate needed these qualities in my life and this verse needed to be stamped in my mind and pressed deep into my heart. After reflecting on this verse, I noticed that the very first fruit of the Spirit is love (I don't think that was by accident) so God led me to the next verse about love and I knew I needed love love and more love.

I Corinthians 13:4-8 "Charity (love) suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity (love) never faileth"
Wow! Kinda seems that Love is the answer to every problem. Oh but wait...God is love, so yeah, it kinda is the answer!!!

Other verses that helped were

Proverbs 17:22 " A merry heart doeth good like a medicine but a broken spirit drieth the bones.


II Corinthians 4:16 ".....the inward man is renewed day by day."



4. I had to claim those promises and put my faith in God
 I remember the day the missing step hit me like a ton of bricks. It was as if I had been putting a puzzle  together and realized I was missing the very center piece. You see, I was reading my Bible, praying, memorizing wonderful scriptures but I had been doing all the work. I was trying to make the change. I was trying to be a happy person, a better mother, a lovable wife but I was failing and I was failing miserably.

Why? Because I was trying to make the change!

 The day it hit me, I was pouring  my heart out to God, I was talking, crying, begging, pleading, sulking, whining when it hit me,( right in the heart) The powerful verse from Psalms 46: 10 "Be still and know that I am God"  It was as if God saying Sh...Be quite!

God was telling me to be still, be silent, let Him be God
Let Him be God?
Yes, the answer was plain and simple.
Let God be God.

He was the God of  Abraham, David and Paul
He is the God of the universe and He is my God
I  have a great big wonderful God. Nothing is too hard or impossible for Him.
He alone had that power to change my trouble soul  and He was the missing puzzle piece.

That day, I apologized to God for making Him so small. I had not trusted God to fix the problem. Yes, I had prayed and told Him I had a problem but I had not trusted that He would solve the problem. That was the day my burden was lifted and the healing was truly complete. Peace immediately flooded my soul and joy quickly took the place of the stress and anguish I had been holding on to.What a special day that was to me!

5. I had to put my pride aside
Probably the hardest lesson for me to learn during this time was putting my pride aside and realize I didn't have it all together. I  then had to seek forgiveness from my sweet family. Saying "I am sorry" is not easy for me. I'm not sure why, they are just 3 little words, but my-oh-my are they awfully powerful words. I can not even express the joy that came with those three humbling words, but once I said them I felt an over- abundance of joy. You may wonder why I needed to apologize to my husband and sweet little boy. Well, who do you think took the blunt of that moody, grouchy, frustrated, stress-out, sometimes down-right angry Fog that I was in? Yep, the two most important people in my life! I was ashamed and I knew I  had to put my pride aside and make things right with them.

( Side note: I'm thankful that God gave me a husband who put up with my bad days and loved me when I was not all that love-able. It has made me love you all the more!!


Ladies, I do not come to you as an expert who has all the answers but rather a humbled child-of-God who has been recharged, renewed and basically has had a heart-transplant. I knew I needed a change and I craved to have God "create a right spirit in me". I do not know why we have to go through hard times or "Fogs" but I do not that if we allow God to have the glory, it will not be in vain.

I struggled with sharing this with you all because honestly,  I like to have it all together. Like most women,  I do not like to admit that I have short-comings, (AMEN??) but I want to be relatable . I recently came across this verse and knew that God wanted me to share my heart.

II Corinthians 1:3-4
"Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God."

If we never have troubles or dark days,God would never be able to comfort us.
If we have never been comforted by God how can we truly comfort others.
If we comfort others with the love of God, we are using our suffering for His glory and....
Maybe just maybe, we can show the world the love, mercy, kindness and goodness of our Heavenly Father