“Death and life are in the power of the tongue…” Proverbs 18:21
In this
social media driven generation, people have been given the misconception that
they have the right to speak their mind. There is a false idea that they can be
brutally honest and say whatever they want and have no sorrow, remorse or
consequences for their behavior. Slander, bullying and hating on others is now
socially acceptable. In fact, the idea of holding your thoughts and words back
would now mean that you are not being “true to yourself”. As long as it is what
you believe to be true and how you feel, then it is A-Okay.
Is it any wonder that depression, therapy and
suicide are at on all time high? It is a coincidence that the pressure of
drugs, alcohol and immortality is affecting even young children?
Ladies, in order for our lights to sparkle and shine for the
Lord we must use our words for the glory of God. We must choose to be an encourager and
not a discourager. To be effective for the Kingdom, we have to decide to build
others up and not tear them down. Our words should draw people to us and
ultimately point them to Christ.
The Bible has so much to say about our words, our mouth and
our speech. In fact a great portion of Proverbs is dedicated to comparing a
wise man to a foolish man. And many of these verses deal with their mouth and
how they handle a situation. Let’s look at the two and see what type of words
they choose.
A Wise Man:
1. Wise Words
One of biggest differences between a wise man and a foolish
man is the way he handles his mouth, his speech and his tongue.
“The mouth of the
righteous speaketh wisdom and his tongue talketh of judgment. Psalms 37:30
“The mouth of the just
bringeth forth wisdom…” Proverbs 10: 31a
2. Edifying and Encouraging Words
A wise man will use every opportunity he has to edify and
encourage others. He uses his mouth to build others up; not tear them down.
“Let no corrupt
communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of
edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers”
Ephesians 4:29
3. Gracious Words
A wise man’s mouth will be filled with gracious, kind words;
not harsh, cruel words.
“The words of a wise
man’s mouth are gracious….” Ecclesiastes 10:12
4. Thoughtful and Thought-out Words
A wise man will think before he speaks. He uses well thought
out words and does not use word vomit!
“Let your speech be
always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer
every man.” Colossians
4:6
“Wherefore, my beloved
brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:” James 1:19
“The heart of the
righteous studieth to answer…” Proverbs 15:28
5. Soft Words.
A wise man does not yell, scream or raise his voice,. he does
not have to be gruff, crude or hurtful to get his point across. Instead he
knows how to softly use his words and gently, lovingly, firmly and wisely
handles even the toughest conversations and situations.
“A soft answer turneth
away wrath…” Proverbs 15:1
6. Wholesome Words
Wholesome means good, moral, clean, virtuous, pure, innocent,
proper, decent, harmless and squeaky clean. Does this describe what flows out
of your mouth? A wise man decides to use wholesome words and there is no room
for gossip, lies, cursing, back-biting or drama.
“A wholesome tongue is
a tree of life” Proverbs 15:4
7. Acceptable Word
A wise man knows that his words need to be
acceptable and pleasing to God. He
also knows that he must use his words wisely so they can be acceptable and
helpful to others.
“Let the words of my
mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable unto you, O Lord” Psalms 19:14
“And whatsoever ye do
in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus…” Colossians 3:17
“The lips of the
righteous know what is acceptable…” Proverbs 10:32a
8. Spirit-filled Words
A wise man knows that there will be times the words that come
from his mouth can not be his own words, but must be Spirit-filled and led by
God in order to touch the lives of others
“Then the Lord put
forth his hand, and touched my mouth. And the Lord said unto me, Behold, I have
put my words in thy mouth.” Jeremiah 1:9
9. Guarded Words
A wise man will allow God to direct and guard his mouth.
“Set a watch, O Lord,
before my mouth; keep the door of my lips.”
Psalms 141:3
9. Healing Words
Our words should be like a healing balm to those around us;
adding comfort, cheer and reassurance.
“Pleasant words are as
an honeycomb, sweet to the soul and health to the bones” Proverbs 16:24
10. Hushed Words
A wise man knows when to keep his mouth shut. Sometimes the
best thing we can do is not say anything at all. It’s not always the easiest
but sometimes it is the best.
“In the multitude of
word there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips is wise.” Proverbs 10:19
“Whoso keepeth his
mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles.”
Proverbs 21:23
“He that hath knowledge
spareth his words: and a man of understanding is of an excellent spirit.
Even a fool when he
holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a
man of understanding.” Proverbs 17:27-28
If you want to see where you are spiritually, then put James
1:26 to the test. “If any man among you
seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart,
this man’s religion is vain. A
wise man knows that sometimes it’s just best to say nothing at all.
Foolish Man:
1. Foolish Words
A foolish man’s mouth is just the opposite of a wise man’s.
His speech is full of thoughtless, rash, reckless, ill-considered, impolite, unintelligent
words. He is lacks good sense, judgment and wisdom so obviously, his speech
will be filled with foolishness.
“…but the lips of a
fool will swallow up himself. The beginning of the words of his mouth is
foolishness: and the end of his talk is mischievous madness.”
Ecclesiastes 10:13b-14
“…but the mouth of
fools poureth out foolishness” Proverbs 15:2b
2. Hasty Words
A foolish man will quickly give you a piece of his mind at
the drop of a hat. He never thinks or prays about
what he should say or how he should
handle a situation. He is like a walking volcano waiting to spew out hot lava.
“Seest thou a man that
is hasty in his word? There is more hope of a fool than of him.” Proverbs 29:20
“A fool uttereth all
his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.”
Proverbs
29:11
3. Angry Words
Angry words tend to add more fuel to the flame. Just like a
fire, they have a tendency to get out of control very quickly. Angry words
always make things worse and never defuse a situation. A foolish man does not
know how to handle his anger, temper or his words.
“A wrathful man stirreth
up strife…”Proverbs 15:18a
“…but grievous words
stir up anger.”Proverbs 15:1b
“…but violence covereth
the mouth of the wicked.” Proverbs 10: 11b
4. Evil Words
The definition of evil is wicked,
bad, wrong, foul, sinful, dishonorable, corrupt, and vicious. When you are
spreading gossip, lies, drama, or half-truths you are choosing to use evil
words. A wicked man has no regard as to how his evil words may destroy or hurt
the lives of others. Ask yourself if you are choosing righteousness or wickedness
when you are talking to your girlfriends. Don’t allow evil words to sneak into
your conversations.
“…but the mouth of the
wicked poureth out evil things.” Proverbs 15:28b
5. Dishonest Words.
You can not believe or put much value in what a fool has to
say. Proverbs mentions a forward heart and a forward mouth several times.
Frowardness in modern terms means to be willfully contrary to someone, to be
crooked, twisted, distorted, back-sliden or basically someone you can not put
your faith and trust in. Doesn’t this seem to define a dishonest man perfectly?
“Put away from thee a
forward mouth, and perverse lips put far from thee.” Proverbs
4:24
“…but the mouth of the
wicked speaketh forwardness.” Proverbs 10:32b
“…and he that uttereth
a slander, is a fool” Proverbs 10:18b
5. Meaningless Words.
I saved this point for last because we all fall guilty of
this. We have all used words that have no purpose, meaning or use. We just talk
to talk or talk to be heard. That could be why most women have been known to
have “the gift to gab”. We, as women to do not need help talking. We naturally
enjoy talking and fellow-shipping. There is nothing wrong, foolish or sinful
about this. But it is in that time of fellowship that we must remember to guard
our mouth and have wisdom. It is so easy to get caught up in conversations that
become meaningless and can easily lead to gossip. Gossip never leads to
edification but only leads to destruction. You may try to justify your gossip
as just catching up or sharing a prayer request amongst your closets friends.
You may not see the harm in meaningless words, and neither did I, until I came
across this verse; and it shook me to the core.
“But I say unto you, that
every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the
day of judgment. For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words
thou shalt be condemned.” Matthew 12:36-37
Ladies, our meaningless, idle words will one day be judged by
the Ultimate Judge. There is destiny in words. Read, study, or memorize Matthew
12:33-37. Let’s beg God to help us with our words. Let’s not be a foolish man
that has no control, care or thought about the things that spew out of his
mouth. Let’s be wise, kind and thoughtful with the words that carefully proceed
from our lips.
As Christian ladies, we must let our light shine into a dark
world. We must show our neighbors, community, family and friends that there is
something rare, special and unique about us. But our lights will not shine if
we are using our mouth unwisely. Proverbs 31:26 says it beautifully, “She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in
her tongue is the law of kindness” What a challenge this verse is. The
Proverbs 31 woman who is known as a woman more valuable than rubies gives us a
guideline for our mouth.
“Out of the same mouth
proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be.” James 3:10
Are your words a blessing or a cursing?
Are your words helpful or hurtful?
Are your words wise or foolish?
Are your words healing or destructive?
Are your words encouraging or discouraging?
Are your words life or death?
“Death and life are in
the power of the tongue…” Proverbs 18:21
There is power in our words.
There is destiny in our words.
There are consequences to our words
that can be good or bad.
The choice is ours to make.
Will we be foolish or will we be wise
with our words.
While the rest of the world is
bashing, slandering, giving a piece of their mind; we as Christian ladies, can
be a light, we can radiate, we can encourage and we can uplift others for the Kingdom of God
