I Am A Lady and I Am Valuable

I am proud to be a lady. Being a feminine girly girl does not make me a worthless door mat or a second class citizen. My value does not come from my precious husband, my lovely child, the amount of money I make (or don't make), my accomplishments, the denomination of religion I am, who I voted for or the size dress I wear. 


My value comes from the King of Kings who loved me enough to send His Son to die for. That is Love and that is where my value lies. I am loved and I am cherished.
I am tired of this lie that the world has created, that to be a valuable women you have to be career driven, have a big house, a new car, and a beautiful family. 

The world also paints a picture of the new modern woman as one bad, tough, rough woman.
One who can do it all and doesn't take anything from anybody.
A woman with a hard heart and a strong backbone. 
Someone who doesn't show her feelings but knows how to get the job done.
A woman who doesn't need a man and depends only on herself.

To be honest, I don't like this picture the world has painted. 

I am not a robot; I am a woman with emotions.
I am not Superwoman; I am a woman who needs help.
I am not a heartless human being; I am a woman with a tender heart.
I am not a nasty woman; I am a cherished, loved woman who wants to help others.

Is there anything wrong with being tough, rough, independent and have a strong backbone?
Nope, not at all. 

Let me introduce you to the Virtuous Woman in Proverbs 31, she was one tough cookie.....

10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.

14 She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.

15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.

16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.

17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.

18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.

19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.

20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.

21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.

22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.

23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.

24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.

25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.

26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.

30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth theLord, she shall be praised.

31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

One tough Mamma, right? 
So, what's the difference between her and this "Modern Mamma",?
She had  a servant's heart who wrapped her strength in gentleness and kindness. 
She lived her life for others. 
She feared the Lord. 

As a lady, I want to be independent but 100% dependent on God.
I want to be strong but be gentle.
I want to have backbone but be gracious.
I want to be firm but be compassionate.
I want to be tender-hearted but not a push-over.

I am proud to be a lady. 
I am valuable. 

Renewed Commitments

2016 was such a special year. I had just completed writing my first book P.I.N.K. and had my very first photo shoot. It was such a fun experience and one I will always treasure. I remember feeling beautiful and confident. Two things I struggle with daily. But on that particular day, I felt radiant.

 I think about what all the led up to that day. A day that I felt comfortable in my clothes and content with my size. I remember the long hard road I went down to get there. It was a lot of determination, discipline and a road with absolutely no distractions. I was determined to become the best version of myself. I was disciplined enough to do whatever I had to do to get there. I refused to be distracted by obstacles. I worked hard, saw results, and reached goals.

Then something happened. I hit a plateau. A big one. I was 5 pounds away from hitting my all time goal. 5 pounds!! And week after week I was stuck. I became discouraged. That discouragement led to a distraction, that set me on a detour. A detour that drove me far away from my destination and eventually led me to derailment. Total derailment. Instead of digging deeper, I gave up.

Push on forward to the present year 2019.   I droop my shoulders in shame and nod my head in frustration. I allowed 5 pounds to determine my journey. Now here I share my heart 30 pounds heavier. There I said it. I put it out there. 30 pounds in 3 years. 30 pounds that my body does not need. 30 pounds that keeps me out of my favorite clothes. 30 pounds that keep me from feeling confident. 30 pounds that I have allowed to define me. 30 pounds that have defeated me day after day. 30 pounds that the devil uses against me every single second of every single day. 30 pounds that distract me from being the best version of myself. 30 pounds that started on a distracted detour. All because I hit a roadblock.

I recently took a stroll through the book P.I.N.K. and stopped on Part 2 "Kindness to Yourself" I felt encouraged and convicted all at the same time when I reread the chapters: Do You Like Yourself, Be the Best Version of Yourself, and How Can I be My Best.

I was encouraged knowing I can change. I was convicted because I have become so distracted from healthy living. Yes, life is busy, stressful, and hard! But we only get one chance to live this life. And how we choose to live it will determine how much we enjoy it. And friends. I want to live and I want to live it well. I truly desire to be the best version of myself.  Not just spiritually but physically and mentally too.

So today begins a renewed day. Renewed because these are not new goals but renewed ones. As long as I am living, I have the opportunity to change my situation. My story is still being written and I have the chance to rewrite the ending. So here is to a new chapter. A chapter full of Renewed goals, Renewed determination, and Renewed discipline.

 Today begins a renewed day. Renewed because these are not new goals but renewed. As long as I am living, I have the opportunity to change my situation. My story is still being written and I have the chance to rewrite the ending. So here is so a new chapter. A chapter full of Renewed goals, Renewed determination, and Renewed discipline.

I share my heart and my renewed commitment  with you because I need accountability. I also share because I know I can not be the only human out here that has become distracted from their dream or goal? Please tell me I am not.

What is it today sweet sister that has you distracted? Please don't make my mistake and give up. Don't let that distraction lead you down a detoured road that will eventually leave you derailed. Keep your focus. Stay on course. Find your determination and keep going. Yes, it's hard. You may not see immediate results. But please Just keep pressing forward.

Forget about yesterday and the mistakes or failures that were in it. Live for today and all the promises that it holds.

Phil 3:13-14 "Brethren (sweet sisters) I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus."

Please feel safe to share your distraction below in the comments. I would love to be on this journey together, praying and encouraging each other.

I will be posting my progress, healthy eating recipes, and fun ideas on my Instagram account @dorothyhgates Go check it out if you would like to follow along on the journey. Please note I am not a health coach or expert just a work in progress.

FRESH START- Follow the F Steps

Happy 2019 my sweet friends. We are well on our way into January and into a new year. I love new years because it opens the door for a fresh start and a new beginning. Going into a new year is like a chalkboard that's been wiped down nice and clean. They are no mistakes, disappointments, failures, or messes.  Starting off a new year is fresh and exciting. A new year also presents  opportunities to change some things. But to change things you need to have a plan and some direction. So here are some helpful steps to help you get started. FOLLOW THE F STEPS and start your journey into 2019.

The F Steps:

1. FIGURE out your goals

Don't go into 2019 blindly. Know what you want to accomplish, set some goals, and write them down. It's not too late! Figure out what you want to do. Do you want to accomplish a dream, lose some weight, pay off some bills, become more active, learn a new hobby, or start a new ministry? No matter what it is, take that first step of  writing it down. That simple act of writing it down on a piece of paper  somehow miraculously changes it from an impossible dream into something you truly want to accomplish.


2. FORM a plan

Now that you have your goals in writing, begin to form a plan. What do you need to do to help you achieve your goal? Do you need to do some research to gain more knowledge on the subject. Do you need to join a support group to find motivation pr accountability? Whatever that goal is, take time to think about the steps that need to be taken. You never reach a goal or accomplish a dream by accident. There are steps to take and work that must be done, so figure out what your next move needs to be.


3. FIND your discipline

Once you know what your next step needs to be, do it. Don't just wish for it to happen, get up and do something. Find your willpower and your discipline and do it. The desire is there, now get your discipline to match your desire. Once the excitement wears off, your determination has to kick in. How bad do you want to reach this goal?

4. FOLLOW through and FINISH.

The hardest part of following your dreams and reaching your goal will be accomplishing it. It's easy to start strong. Its even fun to plan and prepare. It can even be exciting to begin the process. But what will you do when the journey is not fun and exciting anymore. What will you do when the going gets tough and it's hard to continue on. How will you respond when everything and everyone tells you to throw in the towel? I hope you will follow through and Finish. Keep going one step at a time. Follow up one step with another and then another until you reach that finish line!

We have all been give a beautiful opportunity to start fresh. Will you keep going down the same road wishing things could be different or are you ready to take those steps to change some things.

Follow the F Steps and begin your exciting  journey into 2019

Picture Perfect

There is no such thing as a PICTURE PERFECT MARRIAGE
but MARRIAGE is the PERFECT PICTURE of God's love.

Long gone are the fairy tale fantasies of a Picture Perfect Marriage. Those unrealistic expectations have long been replaced with the cold hard facts of reality. What is the reality? That marriage is hard. Marriage takes work. Marriage is not perfect. The reality is that two imperfect people are in a relationship trying to create a perfect marriage, and that just can’t happen. There is no such thing as a perfect marriage or a perfect relationship. But it doesn’t mean that marriages can’t be good. Marriages can’t live perfectly every after, but they can live happily ever after. You see, even if you can never achieve perfections, you can hold on to the hope and the truths in the Word of God. Through His Words, we see that God is for marriage. He ordained the sanctity of marriage. We can rejoice and be inspired, challenged, and encouraged knowing that marriage is a Perfect Picture of God’s love toward us. 

God loved us such much that He willingly gave His only begotten Son for us. In this short passage from the famous verse, John 3:16, we see several different ways that we can choose to apply God’s love into our own relationships.

God chose to LOVE us.
God chose to SACRIFICE for us.
God chose to GIVE to us. 
God chose to see the GOOD in us.
God chose to ADORE us.
God chose to NURTURE a relationship with us. 
God CHOSE us.
God chose to STAY with us. 
God chose to be DEVOTED to us.
God chose to FORGIVE us.
God chose to INVEST in us.

How can we apply these attributes into our own marriage?

We can choose to LOVE our spouse.
We can choose to SACRIFICE for our spouse.
We can choose to GIVE to our spouse.
We can choose to see the GOOD in our spouse.
We can choose to ADORE our spouse.
We can choose to NURTURE a relationship with our spouse.

We can CHOOSE our spouse.
We can choose to STAY with our spouse. 
We can choose to be DEVOTED to our spouse.
We can choose to FORGIVE our spouse.
We can choose to INVEST in our spouse.

WE CAN CHOOSE.
It is our choice.
IT. IS .THAT.SIMPLE.
We each have a choice to make.

You can choose to love your spouse like Christ loves you.
You can choose to stay rather than leave.
You can choose to forgive rather than fight.
You can choose to invest rather than ignore.
You can choose to focus on your marriage rather than be distracted from your marriage. 
You can choose to uplift rather than criticize.
You can choose to have peace rather than always be right.
You can choose to respect rather than rebel.
You can choose to take the road less traveled rather than take the easy way out. 
You can choose joy rather than turmoil. 
You can choose to give rather than get.
You can choose to love. 

Don’t try to have a Picture Perfect Marriage, just choose to lean on and learn from the One who can show us what Perfect Love truly looks like. Love is not a feeling. Love is not a fairy tale. Love is not a Hallmark movie. Love is an action. Love is a choice. 

I Corinthians 13: says that Love suffereth long, is kind, envieth not, vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, rejoiceth not in iniquity, rejoiceth in truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. 
LOVE NEVER FAILS

Today you have a choice. What will your choice be?

Remember, 
There is no such thing as a PICTURE PERFECT MARRIAGE
but MARRIAGE is the PERFECT PICTURE of God's love.

Wait on the Lord

            In this fast pace, always on the go society we have become spoiled and accustomed to quick, immediate results. We drive up to a fast food restaurant and in about 10 minutes or less, we have our dinner handed to us. We pop a meal in the microwave and it is cooked and ready to serve in around 5 minutes. We send someone a text message or a message through instant messager and have a response back within seconds. We have direct deposit so our money is immedialty available and we no longer have to wait for checks to clear. Wal-mart now offers on-line shopping and easy grocery pick-up. This allows us to no longer stand in line!  Amazon has anything and everything we need, right at our fingertips and promises next day shipping. We no longer have to wait for weeks to get our packages delivered. Modern technology has paved the road to make life easier and less complicated. We do not have to wait on anything and now we no longer know how to.

            Watch how ridiculous people began to act when they have to stand in line and wait. Whether it’s at the grocery store, restaurant, or at the bank people get fidgety and began to gripe and complain. If someone doesn’t answer your text message immedialty you don’t know how to cope. You check your phone 20 times a minute thinking there must be something wrong with your phone. Road rage becomes an issue when people get stuck in traffic jams. They never think about the victims that could possibly be involved in an accident, they only think of the frustration, complications, and delays it is causing them. Has this modern technology truly made life easier for us or has it simply spoiled us and warped our way of thinking.

            You see, for many of us, we have become so accustomed to this fast pace lifestyle that we have allowed this way of thinking to spill over into every area of our lives. Our careers, our dreams and goals, our health, and our homes began to suffer because we want quick fixes, fast results, and easy solutions. We are no longer willing to put in the work hard necessary and wait for the end results. Unfortunately, many of us have even taken this approach in our relationship with God. We want our prayer life to offer quick fixes, fast results, and easy solutions. We demand our prayers to be answered in the time frame we desire and according to how we deem best. We want our way, and we want it now. So when God doesn’t deliver when and how we wanted Him to, we get upset. We don’t know how to deal. We think He has abandoned us. We feel unloved, and unheard.

            My dear friend, we must remember God does not live in a fast pace, always on the go society. He does not operate like Amazon and deliver pretty packages the very next day. He is not a microwave. We can’t just push a button and have things the way we wanted within 5 minutes. His way of thinking is so different than ours. He does not work in the same time frame that we do. Often we must wait. WAIT? Yes, wait!

Psalms 27:14

Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say on the Lord.

The Psalmist said to WAIT on the Lord!

Pay attention to that dreaded four letter word he choose to use, WAIT.

He did not say to:

RUSH the Lord

DEMAND the Lord

DOUBT the Lord

Get FRUSTRATED at the Lord

Get AHEAD of the Lord

GIVE UP on the Lord

He simply said,WAIT on the Lord.

            I get it, it’s hard. We don’t like to wait. It’s not fun. But in this life and in our Christian walk, there will be times when we will have to wait solely on the Lord. Maybe it’s your career, a calling, a dream, or a goal that has you on your knees. Perhaps it’s your marriage, your children, or your home. It might be a diet, your health, or a heartbreak. Whatever it might be, when you are going before the King of King praying and asking for His mercy and grace, His blessings and wisdom, His power and His will in the matter, WAIT on Him. He never promised fast results, quick fixes, and easy solutions. But He did promise to lever leave you or forsake you. God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Just because our way of thinking and our lifestyle has change, doesn’t mean God has. His ways have not changed, neither has His love for you changed. Don’t allow our modern way of living and thinking to destroy our relationship with God. Just because He doesn’t deliver how and when we expected Him to, doesn’t mean He is not a good Father. Don’t let our fast moving world influence your prayer life or your trust in Him.

Learn to WAIT. Even when it’s hard. WAIT.

Isaiah 40:31

But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

Time to Grow Up

There is nothing sweeter and more precious in this sin cursed world than a newborn baby. They are tiny, innocent, and totally dependent on others. Not only is it expected for a baby to cry, whine, throw fits, be needy, and fussy; it’s totally acceptable. They are growing and learning their place in this strange and confusing world.  It’s amazing how we don’t seems to mind the spit-up in our hair, the crazy amounts of stinky diapers, the messes, the never ending pile of dirty little clothes, and the lack of sleep that comes with a darling baby. However, none of this would be expected or accepted if that darling was now 20. 

Ummm, nope!

And why is that?

Well, because that big darling, that is now 20 is not a helpless, needy, tiny, innocent, totally dependent little baby anymore. That 20 year old darling should have grown up and become an educated, self- sufficient, independent part of society. That big baby should be well on it's way to adulthood and should be trying to find their own place in this strange and confusing world. And if they have not, there is a big problem!!!

Sweet sisters, it is exactly the same as Christians. The Bible describes a new believer as a new born babe. Just like a new born baby needs milk and needs time to grow, so does a new Christian. It’s expected and accepted for a baby to drink milk and it's expected and accepted for a new Christian to be a baby Christian. New Christians need time to grow, time to mature, time to take those first steps and time to learn. 

I Peter 2:2

“As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby:”

As a new Christian, there is an eagerness about learning the Word of God. Do you remember what it was like? There was an earnest desire to hold on to every truth you come across and cling to every promise you found in the Bible. You would cling to it and apply it to your life, and you diligently allowed those truths to fill in all those empty places you desperately needed to be filled. You may not have even understood what was happening, you just knew you craved the Word of God. Just like a little baby craves its milk with demanding cries, we would embrace the milk of the word as we sucked it down happily.

However, during the growth process, there will be times a new Christian does not understand a truth, a conviction, or a standard. They may get whiny, fussy, and throw a fit. They may cause a stink or a mess but that is expected from a baby. It's all part of the process. 

This growing process  is not always easy and requires patience. This baby Christian is finding its place in a new strange and confusing world. They need to be taught, loved, and babied at times. They need time and patience to grow in grace and grow in knowledge.

But a seasoned Christian should not live as a baby Christian. There should be a huge difference in their lives. Yes, we should still be growing, and still be learning. But we should not be crying for the bottle anymore.

 Hebrews 5:12-14

“For when for the time ye ought to be teachers, ye have need that one teach you again which be the first principles of the oracles of God; and are become such as have need of milk, and no of strong meat. For every one that useth milk is unskilful in the word of righteousness: for he is a babe, But strong meat belongeth to them thas are of full age, even those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil”

An adult can’t live on milk alone, neither should a seasoned Christian live on the milk of the word. Just as an adult needs substance, a seasoned Christian needs the meat of the word. He needs to be grounded in the Doctrine of the Word. He should be skilled in the teachings of God, and should be mature in his faith and knowledge in the Word.

II Peter 3:18

“But grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.”

So dear buddies in Christ, you should constantly be growing. If you are the same Christian you were 5,10, 15 years ago, then it’s time to grow up. You should not be complacent, stagnant, or stationary; you should always be moving and growing in the Lord. You should not get offended over every little thing that does not go your way. You should not be throwing temper tantrums or hissy fits like a toddler. You should be grounded, secure, and mature in your faith. 

 So today, let’s take a good look into the mirror and ask ourselves if we are still acting like  baby Christians, or are we growing in the Lord and maturing in His Word. Let’s grow up and go do great things for God.

Casting All our Cares upon Him

While we were living in Kansas City, my son and I would take advantage of going to the library every week. We would stack up on books and movies. And every week we would return the old books and movies and switch them for new ones. We enjoyed this routine very much. It was on one of these regularly scheduled library trips, that the librarian noticed one of the DVD’s was missing from its case. “Oh, I’m so sorry; I must have left it in the DVD player!” The movie was not due back yet, so she handed me the case to take back home and return it once we had the DVD. Not putting too much thought into it we went on throughout the library finding new treasures for our week. In fact, I didn’t think much about it until we were home and I checked the DVD player to find it empty.

“Well, that’s not good.” I thought to myself but still not completely worried. I began to look anywhere I might have absent "mindedly" set a DVD, all the obvious places like the DVD player, beside the TV, on the mantel, in my DVD cabinet. But I was coming up empty. This was so out of character for me. I am a very routine person and my normal routine is to put a DVD straight into its case. Then I got to thinking. What if I wasn’t the one who misplaced the DVD. “Oh Uh” I said out loud as I looked at my very mischievous 3 year old. “Did you take the DVD out of its case?”  The smile on his face and the look in his eyes gave him away. “I think I did, I get it” He turned and ran away. “Well this should be interesting” I thought. “Hopefully, it’s still in one piece.” 

When several minutes had passed and neither my son nor the DVD had returned, I went looking for them. And to no surprise there he was sitting on the floor playing with a freshly dumped pile of toys. “Where is the DVD?” I asked him. “I dunno” he replied without looking up. “Go figure” I said to myself as I began searching his room. I searched everywhere in his room and came up empty handed, so then I began to search the house. Ya’ll I checked every drawer, every cabinet, under every bed, in the closets, toy boxes, everywhere. And I continued to search for weeks. We were coming to the time when the DVD was due back at the library, I did not want to pay any late fees and I didn’t want to have to buy that silly DVD, so I continued to search but with no luck.

It was now the day before we would be going to the library, and I was talking to my husband about it. He began to help me search and I had a striking thought hit me that I had not asked God to help me find the DVD. He knew exactly where it had been hidden and I had not thought to ask him to join this search party. So, I began to pray. I asked God to help me find it. I also asked Him to forgive me for not doing this in the first place.  

I remembered the verse about seek and ye shall find. Well ya’ll I had “seeked”, and I had “seeked” for it everywhere. So, now I was clinging to the other part of that verse, the promise part about "finding". My husband had just walked back into the room where I was looking and my eyes drifted to his direction when all of a sudden something shiny caught my eye. “What is that?” I wondered to myself. A silver shimmer in the heater vent which was mounted on the bottom of the wall . I walked over to the wall and my husband followed me. “What is that?” I asked him as he knelt down, put his fingers in the vent and pulled out a shiny DVD. We eagerly checked the title and confirmed it was the missing DVD!!! Yes, in the heater vent and yes, put there by my mischievous 3 year old. But ya’ll in that moment I learned a valuable lesson and not about the hiding places a 3 year old can come up with but on the love of God. In that moment, I was reminded that no matter how small our request is; God cares. He cares for our concerns, He cares for our problems, He cares for our heartbreak and He cares about what is important to us. He cares and He cares deeply. He allowed a shiny missing DVD to remind me of the amount of devotion and adoration He has for me. What is He using in your life to show you His love and fondness? Sometimes He shows us in the smallest ways, like a shiny DVD.

There is no request too small, too unimportant, too big or too hard for God. He wants us to come to Him for everything. Today, let’s go to Him first, not last, and let’s cast our cares upon Him and leave those burdens down at His feet Let’s live righteously in our prayer life and truly learn to trust Him with our hearts, hurts, burdens and even our concerns.

I Peter 5:7 “Casting all your cares upon Him for He careth for you.”