Messy Mondays and Mom Guilt

Mom Guilt: is the feeling of guilt, doubt, anxiousness or uncertainty experienced by mothers when they worry they're failing or falling short of expectations in some way. For many moms–particularly new, working or single moms–the variables that contribute to this phenomenon are numerous and intense.

 The problem with Mom Guilt: it cripples, it destroys, it suffocates, it holds one prisoner...and its good for nothing!

 As we begin our Messy Mondays and Mom guilt series, I want to start of by saying, Dear Momma, if you know the isolated feelings of mom guilt...the reality is- you are not alone. We have all experienced Mom Guilt at some time or another.

 Mom guilt hits each of us in some form and capacity. Becoming aware of it, is so important. It's not a subject you learn about in Sunday school. It's not a class you take in college. Its not discussed at the family table. It's something most of us push way down into the deepest corners of our hearts.

 Why?

 Because if we are feeling guilty about something, it must mean we ARE guilty of something. Right? Not always!

Sometimes guilt comes from unrealistic expectations. Sometimes guilt comes from the lies of the devil. Sometimes guilt comes from the pressures of others. Sometimes guilt comes from the need to please people.

 Guilt can come from many places. And most of the time, it doesn't even come from failure.

 Today, let's become aware of what mom guilt is and where it comes from. Know, you are not on an island all alone. Know, its okay to talk about! Know right here, you have landed in a safe place to share your feelings, express your concerns, and talk about anything. Nothing is off subject. Talk about it. Dont keep it bottled up anymore! Let's help each other get through the suffocating guilt that holds us in bondage.

Through encouragement and prayer we can brake the chains and live victorious in the freedom God has for us. God wants us to be confident mom, not held-captive by guilt moms! We can be the mom God has called us to be, and raise our children for His glory! We can do this!

 Pleas feel free to share this post. Tag another mom and let's do this together!

Time for the moment of truth...

How well did you stick to your goals over the holiday?

With only 4 weeks left in the year....that's crazy even writing! 4 weeks...agh 🤪but in all seriousness,  with only 4 weeks left, We must became very intentional about our choices.

No matter what last week, or yesterday even, looked like- get back on track today.

Remember,  it's your choice, you choose what you want the end of the year to look like.  But it starts with today...and today ...YOU and only you get to choose! Will you finish strong?

The year is not up. Let's give today everything we've got and let's crush those goals!

I refuse to go into 2020- a brand new decade- with the same old goals from 2019.

Join me on YouTube

Hey friends...have you heard the news? I have a YouTube channel!! What?? Who is dis girl?  Haha. I have totally stepped out of my comfort zone and began making Devos.


I've had several ladies tell me their desire to go to a Bible Study,  but due to their jobs, responsibilities,  kids...they are unable. So, now, you can. You can join me at my table- in your PJs, your sweats or yoga pants, you can come with messy hair, and mascara smeared from last night. Just come.

Everyone is welcome.

We are going through the study "More than Anything" When we want God more than anything-what does it look like?

And now, just in time for the festivities of the season; we will gather around my Christmas tree and begin our Holiday Edition-  More than Anything I want to SPARKLE AND SHINE for Him. We will be going through my book "SPARKLE SHINE "

Now go to YouTube: Daily Dose with Dot  and make sure to hit the suscribe button ❤

What's your Assignment?

God has a special assignment for each of us.  A special gift that we can use to bless the lives of someone else. But with the busyness of life, the pressures of social media, the comparison game, and the  lies of the devil..sometimes we get distracted by what our assignment truly is. .
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I've been on a journey discovering who I am, learning my strengths (and weaknesses) embracing my God given gifts, and pursuing my passions. And I'm learning God has given me the desire, passion, and gift of encouraging others.
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*I love encouraging people to feel good about themselves. .
*I love encouraging others to have a relationship with God..
* I LOVE encouraging other ladies to follow God, and say YES to Him. .

I desire to use the gifts God has given me to encourage others. .
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Now sweet sister, do you know your gift? Do you know what assignment God has given you? Do you know how you are supposed to bless other people.....
Maybe you are an influencer,  a motivator,  a leader, a peacemaker,  a loyal follower, a giver, a deep thinker, a dreamer, a delegator, a prayer warrior,  a cook, a helper, a listener,  a counselor,  a teacher, a writer.... whatever your assignment is, know it, and use it. .
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Don't hold it to yourself- share it!
Don't compare it to someone else's- do yours!
Don't be ashamed- be courageous! .
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Discover your assignment and see how God wants you to use it. .
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I would love for you to share your gift and your assignment.  Please leave your gift in the comments below ❤

Mom Guilt

MOM GUILT:

 I'm going to be bringing something new to the table on Mondays- MONDAY MESSES AND MOM GUILT Today, I want to share why I'm bringing this to the table and what it's all about. Yall.. motherhood is messy! We don't always get it right. We drop the ball, we makes mistakes...plain and simple- we screw up! Monday, I totally forgot it was Spirit Week, sent my kid to school without his fun attire...yep!! And even worse- Its marked on my calendar, and the note is on my refrigerator....in plain sight. No excuses- just plain old- I forgot!

 This week I haven't been feeling well and Im not sleeping at night. I've been pushing through, in spite of feeling horrible...cause that's what we're supposed to do as a mom, right? Well, the other night it finally caught up with me and my body said NO MORE. I found myself in bed at 6:30. I had to ask my husband to get my son bathed and ready for bed. He stepped in and did that, as well as the dishes, laundry, and all my other nightly routine obligations. But instead of falling sleeping and resting peacefully, I laid in my bed feeling guilty.

 GUILTY?
 Yes, guilty for crying out loud...
GUILTY of what?
 GUILYY of being sick?

 I felt guilty that I couldn't do my nightly routine with my son, guilty that I couldn't snuggle and say night prayers, guilty that I was letting my son down.

 I felt guilty that I couldn't find the strength to put the dishes in the dishwasher, guilty that I hadn't folded the laundry earlier that day, guilty that I hadn't completed all my tasks and responsibilities.

 I felt guilty that I had to ask my busy, tired from working-all-day husband for help...did he mind? Not one bit. He was more than happy to help... He always is! He's great..But the guilt still hit me and I felt like I was failing my husband.

 I felt guilty that I wasn't trying hard enough. That somehow if I ignored my exhausted, achy body-I could muster up enough strength to do what needed to be done...and I felt guilty that I didn't have the energy or desire to do it!

 And then to beat all...I felt guilty for feeling GUILTY

 And I have a feeling, I'm not the only woman who struggles with guilt. Can anyone else relate to this craziness?

Guilt of not doing enough.
Guilt of not being enough.
Guilt of not trying harder.
Guilt of failing.
Guilt of forgetting.
Guilt of messing up.
Guilt of not measuring up.
Guilt of not being good enough
Guilt
Guilt
Guilt

Sure, we know where the guilt comes from....
We know who the voice belongs to
We recognize the whispers
We identify the condoning, accusing, hurtful lies.

But it doesnt stop the struggle
It still hurts
It still messes with our mind.

Even though we know it comes from Satan, it's still hard to see the TRUTH when we are drowning in the GUILT

This is why I want to start this new topic MONDAY MESSES AND MOM GUILT

My desire is that we mommas will learn to give ourselves:
more grace and less guilt
more forgiveness and less fault
more acceptance and less accusations

I hope you will join me in this new journey on Mondays. I hope you will feel free to share your struggles. I hope you will encourage other moms, friends, and family members to participate. But more importantly, I pray it will encourage you to walk closer to God and hear the voice of GRACE over the voice of GUILT.

Now, I'm going to go take a much needed nap.. with NO GUILT

 Blessings

More than Anything I want Your ways....

More than anything, I want God's ways....truth be told, that is not always the case. Many times, I want my own ways. I want dreams, goals, expectations, schedules, and life in general to go the way I want it to go. I want my plans to go according to my plans. I expect my day to go as I expected.  I desire my goals to be accomplished by the deadline I desired....but there is one problem with all of this. What if my wants, wishes, expectations,  dreams, desires,  goals, and plans collide with God's plan? What if His ways are not my ways? Ouch! 

There comes a time in the Christian life that each of us must make a decision....will we choose God's ways or our ways. Will we trust Him when His ways don't line up with our own? Will we follow Him when we don't have all the answers laid out in front of us? Will we surrender and simply Trust and Obey? 

More than anything I want to say YES to God every single time. More than anything, I desire to live my life for Him. More than anything, I want to draw closer to Him. 

So, more than anything...I want His ways more than my own ways.

Time and time again, He has proved Himself trustworthy. 

Time and time again, He has proved His ways are right. 

Time and time again, He has proved His ways are best. 

He is worthy of my trust, obedience, and loyalty. So today, I choose to take another step closer to Him and say...more than anything, I want your ways...not mine, Yours, Lord! 

I Am A Lady and I Am Valuable

I am proud to be a lady. Being a feminine girly girl does not make me a worthless door mat or a second class citizen. My value does not come from my precious husband, my lovely child, the amount of money I make (or don't make), my accomplishments, the denomination of religion I am, who I voted for or the size dress I wear. 


My value comes from the King of Kings who loved me enough to send His Son to die for. That is Love and that is where my value lies. I am loved and I am cherished.
I am tired of this lie that the world has created, that to be a valuable women you have to be career driven, have a big house, a new car, and a beautiful family. 

The world also paints a picture of the new modern woman as one bad, tough, rough woman.
One who can do it all and doesn't take anything from anybody.
A woman with a hard heart and a strong backbone. 
Someone who doesn't show her feelings but knows how to get the job done.
A woman who doesn't need a man and depends only on herself.

To be honest, I don't like this picture the world has painted. 

I am not a robot; I am a woman with emotions.
I am not Superwoman; I am a woman who needs help.
I am not a heartless human being; I am a woman with a tender heart.
I am not a nasty woman; I am a cherished, loved woman who wants to help others.

Is there anything wrong with being tough, rough, independent and have a strong backbone?
Nope, not at all. 

Let me introduce you to the Virtuous Woman in Proverbs 31, she was one tough cookie.....

10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.

14 She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.

15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.

16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.

17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.

18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.

19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.

20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.

21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.

22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.

23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.

24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.

25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.

26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.

30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth theLord, she shall be praised.

31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

One tough Mamma, right? 
So, what's the difference between her and this "Modern Mamma",?
She had  a servant's heart who wrapped her strength in gentleness and kindness. 
She lived her life for others. 
She feared the Lord. 

As a lady, I want to be independent but 100% dependent on God.
I want to be strong but be gentle.
I want to have backbone but be gracious.
I want to be firm but be compassionate.
I want to be tender-hearted but not a push-over.

I am proud to be a lady. 
I am valuable.