What do have to offer?

What do I have to offer?

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I remember the overwhelming feeling of inadequacy and insecurity right after I released my first book P.I.N.K (People In Need of Kindness) God had just started forming the idea of a ladies conference on my heart, and my second book, Sparkle and Shine was in progress. I had never felt more insecure,  under qualified,  unworthy,  and afraid than I was at that moment. .

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What did I have to offer women? 

Why did I think they needed me? 

What would I give them?

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I looked at other womens ministries and they seemed so sure of themselves.  They were confident in their message and their calling. They knew exactly how they needed to help others! And I was on the other side- overwhelmed and confused. .

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I laid it all at Jesus's feet too! All my doubt, worry, confusion,  insecurities, and all my questions! .

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God, what do I give these ladies? 

The women that you put in my path, what do I offer them? The ones who buy my book, come to a conference,  the one who come to hear me speak...what do I give them? I have nothing.  And in that moment of fear and frustration God gently reminded me..."Give them what they need- ME! Just give them me." .

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It was then that the overwhelming, suffocating pressure fell off of me. People don't need me, my thoughts, words of wisdom, advice, council... they need HIM. Give people what they need- give them Jesus! He is the only thing I need to offer! Once I got myself out of the way- Jesus was able to shine through. .

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Maybe today you are in this same situation.  You want to say YES to God, but you are scared you have nothing to offer others. Sis, the only thing you have to offer is Jesus. He is the only thing people need❤

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Take that step. Say Yes to God and let 2020 be the most incredible spiritual journey of your life. .

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See what God will do with a woman who says YES to God every time .

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#dailyd

Does God get the Glory when we bash other Christians?

Merry Christmas!!

I know its Christmas day , yet my heart is overwhelming burdened by things I've seen on Facebook.  Things that's are said "In the name of the Lord- Glory Hallelujah!" And its left me saddened and ashamed.  Its left me with a big question...

Does God get the GLORY when we bash other Christians?

In my book, SPARKLE AND SHINE, I dedicated an entire chapter to this subject. The chapter is titled "Dont Shoot One of Your Own" My heart is burdened and concerned over the way Christians are treating one another "all in the name of the Lord"

Friends, Brothers, Sisters in Christ-  when we HATE, CRITICIZE, GOSSIP, JUDGE, TEAR DOWN, STOMP ON, SLANDER, or DESPISE one our own; we are allowing the works of the flesh to rule our hearts! None of these attributes belong to the FRUIT of the SPIRIT. 
Gal 5:17-26

Can we honor Christ and still disagree, have different opinions, standards, and convictions? Yes, i truly believe we can!

"With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love . . . And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you."
Ephesians 4:2, 32,

"But as touching brotherly love ye need not that I write unto you: for ye yourselves are taught of God to love one another." 1 Thessalonians 4:9

We all think, look, act, believe and live differently. It would be a miracle if we all agreed with each other 100% of the time or thought exactly alike. But why cant we chose to disagree in the SPIRIT of love and peace?

When we fight and tear down one another, we are not reflecting Christ. We are reflecting the works of the flesh, And therefore the world will not see a God shining through us.

As children of God, we belong to the same family. We are on the same side. We are fighting the same enemy.  Let's get our focus back on that and back on TRUTH. Quit fighting each other. Fight the enemy!

Going out and reaching your community for the Lord. Letting your LIGHT shine and being a beacon of HOPE to the lost world. Shouldn't that be our main agenda? Not whose right, whose wrong, whose different!

Are we all guilty of failing and judging others?

Yes, we have all failed and judged others.
Yes, we have all criticized and talked negatively.
Yes, we have all hurt others due to our harsh judgments.

But isn't it time for us to make a change?

When we hear gossip,  or that a friend thinks or acts differently than us, or that a friend  has fallen into sin, how should we - as the body of Christ react?

Please read these next points taken from SPARKLE  AND SHINE as some food for thought....

1. We are not the ULTIMATE judge- so dont judge
2. Don't let pride or religious beliefs hinder you from loving others like God loves them.
3. Treat others how you want to be treated- or how you would want a family member treated.
4. Love them
5. Talk to them
6. Pray for them
7. Encourage them
8. Stay humble
9. Let God use you to restore them
10. Dont walk away from them

If you are praying for them, you have no desire to hate on them! There is no room for hatred, wrath, strife, emulation, or sedition when the FRUIT of the Spirit is present. 

Please dont allow the world to see hateful Christians!
We will be known by our Fruits! Does your heart reflect love, joy, peace, LONGSUFFERING, gentleness,  goodness,  faith, meekness, temperance?

So, back to my original question...Does God get the glory when we (brothers and sisters in Christ) bash each other? Absolutely not!

We become a JOKE to the world.

Please!!!
Please use wisdom, love,  grace, tact, and mercy before you use social media for your soapbox.

Let's use this platform that God  has given us to build up His name!!  And let's go do Kingdom work for Him.

More than Anything- I want to be who you created me to be

I want to reach my highest potential.
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I want to be the best version of myself.
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I want to honor God with the life He has given me.
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I want to live my life to the fullest.
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 I want to love the life he has given me.

I want to cherish the husband  He has chosen for me.
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I want to adore the child He has entrusted upon me.
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I want to be content in the home He has placed me.
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I want to work hard in the ministry He has called me. .
And I want to love and support the people that do life with me. .
God didn't call me to have a perfect life- just a happy, confident, content one. And I want to be exactly who He created me to be and love the life He has given me

Messy Mondays and Mom Guilt

Mom Guilt: is the feeling of guilt, doubt, anxiousness or uncertainty experienced by mothers when they worry they're failing or falling short of expectations in some way. For many moms–particularly new, working or single moms–the variables that contribute to this phenomenon are numerous and intense.

 The problem with Mom Guilt: it cripples, it destroys, it suffocates, it holds one prisoner...and its good for nothing!

 As we begin our Messy Mondays and Mom guilt series, I want to start of by saying, Dear Momma, if you know the isolated feelings of mom guilt...the reality is- you are not alone. We have all experienced Mom Guilt at some time or another.

 Mom guilt hits each of us in some form and capacity. Becoming aware of it, is so important. It's not a subject you learn about in Sunday school. It's not a class you take in college. Its not discussed at the family table. It's something most of us push way down into the deepest corners of our hearts.

 Why?

 Because if we are feeling guilty about something, it must mean we ARE guilty of something. Right? Not always!

Sometimes guilt comes from unrealistic expectations. Sometimes guilt comes from the lies of the devil. Sometimes guilt comes from the pressures of others. Sometimes guilt comes from the need to please people.

 Guilt can come from many places. And most of the time, it doesn't even come from failure.

 Today, let's become aware of what mom guilt is and where it comes from. Know, you are not on an island all alone. Know, its okay to talk about! Know right here, you have landed in a safe place to share your feelings, express your concerns, and talk about anything. Nothing is off subject. Talk about it. Dont keep it bottled up anymore! Let's help each other get through the suffocating guilt that holds us in bondage.

Through encouragement and prayer we can brake the chains and live victorious in the freedom God has for us. God wants us to be confident mom, not held-captive by guilt moms! We can be the mom God has called us to be, and raise our children for His glory! We can do this!

 Pleas feel free to share this post. Tag another mom and let's do this together!

Time for the moment of truth...

How well did you stick to your goals over the holiday?

With only 4 weeks left in the year....that's crazy even writing! 4 weeks...agh 🤪but in all seriousness,  with only 4 weeks left, We must became very intentional about our choices.

No matter what last week, or yesterday even, looked like- get back on track today.

Remember,  it's your choice, you choose what you want the end of the year to look like.  But it starts with today...and today ...YOU and only you get to choose! Will you finish strong?

The year is not up. Let's give today everything we've got and let's crush those goals!

I refuse to go into 2020- a brand new decade- with the same old goals from 2019.

Join me on YouTube

Hey friends...have you heard the news? I have a YouTube channel!! What?? Who is dis girl?  Haha. I have totally stepped out of my comfort zone and began making Devos.


I've had several ladies tell me their desire to go to a Bible Study,  but due to their jobs, responsibilities,  kids...they are unable. So, now, you can. You can join me at my table- in your PJs, your sweats or yoga pants, you can come with messy hair, and mascara smeared from last night. Just come.

Everyone is welcome.

We are going through the study "More than Anything" When we want God more than anything-what does it look like?

And now, just in time for the festivities of the season; we will gather around my Christmas tree and begin our Holiday Edition-  More than Anything I want to SPARKLE AND SHINE for Him. We will be going through my book "SPARKLE SHINE "

Now go to YouTube: Daily Dose with Dot  and make sure to hit the suscribe button ❤

What's your Assignment?

God has a special assignment for each of us.  A special gift that we can use to bless the lives of someone else. But with the busyness of life, the pressures of social media, the comparison game, and the  lies of the devil..sometimes we get distracted by what our assignment truly is. .
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I've been on a journey discovering who I am, learning my strengths (and weaknesses) embracing my God given gifts, and pursuing my passions. And I'm learning God has given me the desire, passion, and gift of encouraging others.
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*I love encouraging people to feel good about themselves. .
*I love encouraging others to have a relationship with God..
* I LOVE encouraging other ladies to follow God, and say YES to Him. .

I desire to use the gifts God has given me to encourage others. .
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Now sweet sister, do you know your gift? Do you know what assignment God has given you? Do you know how you are supposed to bless other people.....
Maybe you are an influencer,  a motivator,  a leader, a peacemaker,  a loyal follower, a giver, a deep thinker, a dreamer, a delegator, a prayer warrior,  a cook, a helper, a listener,  a counselor,  a teacher, a writer.... whatever your assignment is, know it, and use it. .
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Don't hold it to yourself- share it!
Don't compare it to someone else's- do yours!
Don't be ashamed- be courageous! .
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Discover your assignment and see how God wants you to use it. .
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I would love for you to share your gift and your assignment.  Please leave your gift in the comments below ❤

Mom Guilt

MOM GUILT:

 I'm going to be bringing something new to the table on Mondays- MONDAY MESSES AND MOM GUILT Today, I want to share why I'm bringing this to the table and what it's all about. Yall.. motherhood is messy! We don't always get it right. We drop the ball, we makes mistakes...plain and simple- we screw up! Monday, I totally forgot it was Spirit Week, sent my kid to school without his fun attire...yep!! And even worse- Its marked on my calendar, and the note is on my refrigerator....in plain sight. No excuses- just plain old- I forgot!

 This week I haven't been feeling well and Im not sleeping at night. I've been pushing through, in spite of feeling horrible...cause that's what we're supposed to do as a mom, right? Well, the other night it finally caught up with me and my body said NO MORE. I found myself in bed at 6:30. I had to ask my husband to get my son bathed and ready for bed. He stepped in and did that, as well as the dishes, laundry, and all my other nightly routine obligations. But instead of falling sleeping and resting peacefully, I laid in my bed feeling guilty.

 GUILTY?
 Yes, guilty for crying out loud...
GUILTY of what?
 GUILYY of being sick?

 I felt guilty that I couldn't do my nightly routine with my son, guilty that I couldn't snuggle and say night prayers, guilty that I was letting my son down.

 I felt guilty that I couldn't find the strength to put the dishes in the dishwasher, guilty that I hadn't folded the laundry earlier that day, guilty that I hadn't completed all my tasks and responsibilities.

 I felt guilty that I had to ask my busy, tired from working-all-day husband for help...did he mind? Not one bit. He was more than happy to help... He always is! He's great..But the guilt still hit me and I felt like I was failing my husband.

 I felt guilty that I wasn't trying hard enough. That somehow if I ignored my exhausted, achy body-I could muster up enough strength to do what needed to be done...and I felt guilty that I didn't have the energy or desire to do it!

 And then to beat all...I felt guilty for feeling GUILTY

 And I have a feeling, I'm not the only woman who struggles with guilt. Can anyone else relate to this craziness?

Guilt of not doing enough.
Guilt of not being enough.
Guilt of not trying harder.
Guilt of failing.
Guilt of forgetting.
Guilt of messing up.
Guilt of not measuring up.
Guilt of not being good enough
Guilt
Guilt
Guilt

Sure, we know where the guilt comes from....
We know who the voice belongs to
We recognize the whispers
We identify the condoning, accusing, hurtful lies.

But it doesnt stop the struggle
It still hurts
It still messes with our mind.

Even though we know it comes from Satan, it's still hard to see the TRUTH when we are drowning in the GUILT

This is why I want to start this new topic MONDAY MESSES AND MOM GUILT

My desire is that we mommas will learn to give ourselves:
more grace and less guilt
more forgiveness and less fault
more acceptance and less accusations

I hope you will join me in this new journey on Mondays. I hope you will feel free to share your struggles. I hope you will encourage other moms, friends, and family members to participate. But more importantly, I pray it will encourage you to walk closer to God and hear the voice of GRACE over the voice of GUILT.

Now, I'm going to go take a much needed nap.. with NO GUILT

 Blessings

More than Anything I want Your ways....

More than anything, I want God's ways....truth be told, that is not always the case. Many times, I want my own ways. I want dreams, goals, expectations, schedules, and life in general to go the way I want it to go. I want my plans to go according to my plans. I expect my day to go as I expected.  I desire my goals to be accomplished by the deadline I desired....but there is one problem with all of this. What if my wants, wishes, expectations,  dreams, desires,  goals, and plans collide with God's plan? What if His ways are not my ways? Ouch! 

There comes a time in the Christian life that each of us must make a decision....will we choose God's ways or our ways. Will we trust Him when His ways don't line up with our own? Will we follow Him when we don't have all the answers laid out in front of us? Will we surrender and simply Trust and Obey? 

More than anything I want to say YES to God every single time. More than anything, I desire to live my life for Him. More than anything, I want to draw closer to Him. 

So, more than anything...I want His ways more than my own ways.

Time and time again, He has proved Himself trustworthy. 

Time and time again, He has proved His ways are right. 

Time and time again, He has proved His ways are best. 

He is worthy of my trust, obedience, and loyalty. So today, I choose to take another step closer to Him and say...more than anything, I want your ways...not mine, Yours, Lord! 

I Am A Lady and I Am Valuable

I am proud to be a lady. Being a feminine girly girl does not make me a worthless door mat or a second class citizen. My value does not come from my precious husband, my lovely child, the amount of money I make (or don't make), my accomplishments, the denomination of religion I am, who I voted for or the size dress I wear. 


My value comes from the King of Kings who loved me enough to send His Son to die for. That is Love and that is where my value lies. I am loved and I am cherished.
I am tired of this lie that the world has created, that to be a valuable women you have to be career driven, have a big house, a new car, and a beautiful family. 

The world also paints a picture of the new modern woman as one bad, tough, rough woman.
One who can do it all and doesn't take anything from anybody.
A woman with a hard heart and a strong backbone. 
Someone who doesn't show her feelings but knows how to get the job done.
A woman who doesn't need a man and depends only on herself.

To be honest, I don't like this picture the world has painted. 

I am not a robot; I am a woman with emotions.
I am not Superwoman; I am a woman who needs help.
I am not a heartless human being; I am a woman with a tender heart.
I am not a nasty woman; I am a cherished, loved woman who wants to help others.

Is there anything wrong with being tough, rough, independent and have a strong backbone?
Nope, not at all. 

Let me introduce you to the Virtuous Woman in Proverbs 31, she was one tough cookie.....

10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.

14 She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.

15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.

16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.

17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.

18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.

19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.

20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.

21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.

22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.

23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.

24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.

25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.

26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.

30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth theLord, she shall be praised.

31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

One tough Mamma, right? 
So, what's the difference between her and this "Modern Mamma",?
She had  a servant's heart who wrapped her strength in gentleness and kindness. 
She lived her life for others. 
She feared the Lord. 

As a lady, I want to be independent but 100% dependent on God.
I want to be strong but be gentle.
I want to have backbone but be gracious.
I want to be firm but be compassionate.
I want to be tender-hearted but not a push-over.

I am proud to be a lady. 
I am valuable. 

Renewed Commitments

2016 was such a special year. I had just completed writing my first book P.I.N.K. and had my very first photo shoot. It was such a fun experience and one I will always treasure. I remember feeling beautiful and confident. Two things I struggle with daily. But on that particular day, I felt radiant.

 I think about what all the led up to that day. A day that I felt comfortable in my clothes and content with my size. I remember the long hard road I went down to get there. It was a lot of determination, discipline and a road with absolutely no distractions. I was determined to become the best version of myself. I was disciplined enough to do whatever I had to do to get there. I refused to be distracted by obstacles. I worked hard, saw results, and reached goals.

Then something happened. I hit a plateau. A big one. I was 5 pounds away from hitting my all time goal. 5 pounds!! And week after week I was stuck. I became discouraged. That discouragement led to a distraction, that set me on a detour. A detour that drove me far away from my destination and eventually led me to derailment. Total derailment. Instead of digging deeper, I gave up.

Push on forward to the present year 2019.   I droop my shoulders in shame and nod my head in frustration. I allowed 5 pounds to determine my journey. Now here I share my heart 30 pounds heavier. There I said it. I put it out there. 30 pounds in 3 years. 30 pounds that my body does not need. 30 pounds that keeps me out of my favorite clothes. 30 pounds that keep me from feeling confident. 30 pounds that I have allowed to define me. 30 pounds that have defeated me day after day. 30 pounds that the devil uses against me every single second of every single day. 30 pounds that distract me from being the best version of myself. 30 pounds that started on a distracted detour. All because I hit a roadblock.

I recently took a stroll through the book P.I.N.K. and stopped on Part 2 "Kindness to Yourself" I felt encouraged and convicted all at the same time when I reread the chapters: Do You Like Yourself, Be the Best Version of Yourself, and How Can I be My Best.

I was encouraged knowing I can change. I was convicted because I have become so distracted from healthy living. Yes, life is busy, stressful, and hard! But we only get one chance to live this life. And how we choose to live it will determine how much we enjoy it. And friends. I want to live and I want to live it well. I truly desire to be the best version of myself.  Not just spiritually but physically and mentally too.

So today begins a renewed day. Renewed because these are not new goals but renewed ones. As long as I am living, I have the opportunity to change my situation. My story is still being written and I have the chance to rewrite the ending. So here is to a new chapter. A chapter full of Renewed goals, Renewed determination, and Renewed discipline.

 Today begins a renewed day. Renewed because these are not new goals but renewed. As long as I am living, I have the opportunity to change my situation. My story is still being written and I have the chance to rewrite the ending. So here is so a new chapter. A chapter full of Renewed goals, Renewed determination, and Renewed discipline.

I share my heart and my renewed commitment  with you because I need accountability. I also share because I know I can not be the only human out here that has become distracted from their dream or goal? Please tell me I am not.

What is it today sweet sister that has you distracted? Please don't make my mistake and give up. Don't let that distraction lead you down a detoured road that will eventually leave you derailed. Keep your focus. Stay on course. Find your determination and keep going. Yes, it's hard. You may not see immediate results. But please Just keep pressing forward.

Forget about yesterday and the mistakes or failures that were in it. Live for today and all the promises that it holds.

Phil 3:13-14 "Brethren (sweet sisters) I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus."

Please feel safe to share your distraction below in the comments. I would love to be on this journey together, praying and encouraging each other.

I will be posting my progress, healthy eating recipes, and fun ideas on my Instagram account @dorothyhgates Go check it out if you would like to follow along on the journey. Please note I am not a health coach or expert just a work in progress.

FRESH START- Follow the F Steps

Happy 2019 my sweet friends. We are well on our way into January and into a new year. I love new years because it opens the door for a fresh start and a new beginning. Going into a new year is like a chalkboard that's been wiped down nice and clean. They are no mistakes, disappointments, failures, or messes.  Starting off a new year is fresh and exciting. A new year also presents  opportunities to change some things. But to change things you need to have a plan and some direction. So here are some helpful steps to help you get started. FOLLOW THE F STEPS and start your journey into 2019.

The F Steps:

1. FIGURE out your goals

Don't go into 2019 blindly. Know what you want to accomplish, set some goals, and write them down. It's not too late! Figure out what you want to do. Do you want to accomplish a dream, lose some weight, pay off some bills, become more active, learn a new hobby, or start a new ministry? No matter what it is, take that first step of  writing it down. That simple act of writing it down on a piece of paper  somehow miraculously changes it from an impossible dream into something you truly want to accomplish.


2. FORM a plan

Now that you have your goals in writing, begin to form a plan. What do you need to do to help you achieve your goal? Do you need to do some research to gain more knowledge on the subject. Do you need to join a support group to find motivation pr accountability? Whatever that goal is, take time to think about the steps that need to be taken. You never reach a goal or accomplish a dream by accident. There are steps to take and work that must be done, so figure out what your next move needs to be.


3. FIND your discipline

Once you know what your next step needs to be, do it. Don't just wish for it to happen, get up and do something. Find your willpower and your discipline and do it. The desire is there, now get your discipline to match your desire. Once the excitement wears off, your determination has to kick in. How bad do you want to reach this goal?

4. FOLLOW through and FINISH.

The hardest part of following your dreams and reaching your goal will be accomplishing it. It's easy to start strong. Its even fun to plan and prepare. It can even be exciting to begin the process. But what will you do when the journey is not fun and exciting anymore. What will you do when the going gets tough and it's hard to continue on. How will you respond when everything and everyone tells you to throw in the towel? I hope you will follow through and Finish. Keep going one step at a time. Follow up one step with another and then another until you reach that finish line!

We have all been give a beautiful opportunity to start fresh. Will you keep going down the same road wishing things could be different or are you ready to take those steps to change some things.

Follow the F Steps and begin your exciting  journey into 2019